Ardor

Awesome! You've improved the paragraph. That way new members can read it easier. That whole passage that you originally wrote works as a series of paragraphs. On a side note, ...

Thank you for your feedback Karzkin. Indeed my intention for this poem was to make it ambiguous in it's description, with an added minimalist feel. With the line "she never ...

Someone called her name, but she didn't reply... she never replies at anyone not even to her own children She stands by the window, watching the cars go by... they ...

Hmm. I personally prefer your poem Sweet and Unspoken. While the imagery is still very good, I think it lacks the simplicity and almost minimalist feel that Sweet and Unspoken ...

Very, very good. I like the use of language throughout your piece. It must be very personal to you. My only suggestion would be to improve the structure on one ...

downtown we go I couldn’t live in those people places. The very nature of having to socialise is the very foundation of bad luck and desperation. It’s the overwhelming smell ...

Well...that was a depressing. Personally I found the ending a bit too dark and depressing. I found that she shouldn't have killed the baby because that isn't right for her ...

This is an excellent poem. Your use of metaphors and personfication describe the atrocities of war perfectly. As far as I can see, there is no criticism. It is just ...