Ardor

Oh yes- this kicks the first chapter's ass! Very well done. You are a genius! Congratulations. You have just made my writing seem shit and pretensious in comparisant. You are ...

I already have got her- it was written two years ago :). God I am so lucky.

Right guys- this is a long poem. Last one before I upload part one of my story. It was written a few years ago, so be aware this isn't very ...

May I ask the purpose of the bracketted part? I found it kind of disrupted the flow of the story a little bit. You have a good use of words, ...

Good start. I like your everyday, very modern conversations you have added into it. Very realistic. However, for me it drags on a bit. I don't really feel there is ...

Great poem all round. It is full of imagination, symbolism and a very nice structure to it. May I ask how you personally get an idea or an inspiration for ...

Very good concept; the layout is great too. You have used a fairly simple idea to the best of your own abilities. However, for next time, some lines are a ...

If you haven't already read my blog there is a new writing project that I have started writing. I shall get to the name once I go on a bit ...

You've done it again Desire. Another very symbolic, open poem. You have a very individual and articulate passion for the words you actually use. To know someone 2 years older ...

Creepy as hell, but I liked it. Your use of langauge only adds to the gigantic tension throughout the piece. Can't wait to read part 3- part 2 is excellent ...

God you are so great. Where do I begin?

Holy shit what a good poem. So vague, so ambiguous, I love it. You have to write more. You HAVE to. A cash in if you want. I don't care ...

This story has great potential, I will give it that. However, it is missing a bit of action. I am not so fond of the style you are writing in ...

The animal runs across me; I'm so tired but I can only fall The black is dripping down In the hanging garden please don't speak Blood in my ears and ...

Oh. My. God. This is really, really sad. The fact that it is from the point of view of a six year old makes it even sadder. The use of ...