Ardor

I really liked that tension in that chapter. I also felt you have developed the characters really well. At first I was going to say that the last line was ...

You seemed to have left a mistake at the end. You must've pushed the enter button when typing. The last paragraph either needs rearranging, a capital letter at the start ...

First off, I personally found the name of your chapter too long. Usually chapter names are meant to be short and snappy, whereas your one is a bit too long. ...

In case some people don't know, in my hometown of London, there are riots going on, where about 450 have been arrested and possibly some people killed. This is a ...

I really liked this piece. I love the way you paced that conversation between the two. Is this a romance? It feels very relaxed and breezy. This was made for ...

Haha! That was really funny! For a joke poem it was really good. I really liked your use of the repeated word with something that rhymes afterwards. I really enjoyed ...

I really liked how this piece flowed; the idea of how this innocent girl gets with this guy is really fluent and very well expressed. There are a few nitpicks. ...

Searching for some other way To bring some small relief Never to be satisfied And snatch out all beliefs Didn't have the energy To make up for my part Everything ...

The rain falling.......

The Holy Bible by Manic Street Preachers is the greatest album of all time. 40

Pardon my language WTMeighan, but this guy is a f'ing idiot. I am sorry for using that language, but I am serious. First off, he disses Nate, the owner of ...

Hey there Danny! :) Welcome to YWS. If you need anything, post on my wall. I'd be happy to help you. I am 567ajt, lord of ambiguous poetry and master ...

Wow. That was pretty good for a story. I don't think this technically counts as a novel. It has to be in chapters in order to be a novel, but ...

I really like this piece. It was very clear and was very rich in subtlety. I especially liked how you used that sense of a world gone mad. This is ...

Hi there! I liked the idea behind it: that idea that people aren't what they seem. However I do think you need to edit a few parts that I found ...