Ardor

Life will not go on, his eyes are so hollow A cold word comes out of his desperate mouth Where he would cry is the same place they raised him ...

I liked this. It was really nice. Well done. No seriously, it was good. I especially liked the one line ending. It added to the theme of silence and all. ...

Interesting. Very interesting. Original. Daring. Dark. Scary. Funny. Shizophrenic. Artful. Makes me hungry; nervous; makes me want to sing. Has a nice individuality to it. Reminds me of Greek gods. ...

Do you count Joy Division as industrial music? If so, then I'd have a lot to talk to you about...

Ooh! This is very fancy. Looks very professionally put together, I liked the introduction, and your language is great. A lot of my stuff is completely the opposite; looks like ...

Heh. It was ok. Some funny moments, like the last line, but I found it a little hit-and-miss. The idea is a bit cliche, and I found the part when ...

I'm surprised no one has commented on this yet. This is great! Although I found the exclamation point after the chorus a bit cliche and corny, it has very good ...

I liked this. Very much. Seemed like every line counted and had a really nice structure. However, my only suggestion is to perhaps revise the last two paragraphs. I didn't ...

This is good. I liked your structure as it was interesting. I also liked the shilly-shally thing which was original. However, I found the opening line very cliched. It is ...

I dedicate these words Cold, harsh, twisted words To a tyrant now rotting away In his own personal tomb of decay Gaddafi sleeps in a pool of blood A web ...

Celtic, this is amazing. I loved your language, and how you created a sense of isolation throughout. And yes, your title pretty much sums the whole poem's theme up: abandonment. ...

Um, no offence, but it is way too short. I think you've got everything right- but the length! I think you should add much more verses to carry on your ...

Mario Puzo! Wait, who?

The walls have trapped me Contained inside a void Your "wisdom" is ignorance You prey off people's fears But your strengths aren't my weaknesses Your long gaze into a lifeless ...

These short poems are either incomplete or deliberately short. I have done it this way so I don't waste 100 points for a 3-4 line poem. I will be posting ...