Angel17

I am scorpio and the horse in chinese

These track that we had run This doers not make sense. Could it be 'These tracks that we have run' perhaps? Also, i also agree the last stanza cuts the ...

Sunlight

As many have already said, there were tons of grammatical errors, if you proof read your work it will be more easy for the reader to grasp and understand whats ...

It was short and simple. Nice imagery. :D And welcome to YWS!

WOW, this was beautifully written! and flowed perfectly. :D

You were able to portray your feelings extremely well. You kept the reader interested and showed real belief and passion in what you were talking about. Very good poem :D

I agree with Xanthan Gum. The ending did not flow at all, and the rest of the poem lost its effect because of this.

Well everything is covered by the others. I liked the poem it was quite simple and easy to read (flowed well). The repetition of the style of the poem e.g. ...

This poem's rhythm flowed perfectly. And the rhyme scheme was not at all forced. You sent the message of HIV very well, and the end was very dramatic and a ...

The rhythm varied because some lines would be left non-rhyming, and then suddenly 3 lines will rhyme at once. Make people doubt that you are sane This line made the ...

This poem repeats 'I' so frequently that it would be difficult for any readers to try and relate. your rhythm isn't really there at all - your lines are random ...

Wonderful imagery and some of the words and phrases were so powerful and really stood out of this poem. It floats from the heavens, it's landing unknown, This is my ...

A lovely poem. A very good ending, the best part. Beautiful flow and rhythm :D

I thought the spaces and missing letters were a really creative idea. I really liked the poem, very original. :D