Amice

Stars in the sky *no comma necessary* Reflect in your eyes *period maybe?* Your eyes light up so bright *somewhat awkward* As you hold me so tight *don't overuse the ...

I can still see you in my dreams It seems we're still together In that never-land of my mind Some magic power you have on me at night And even ...

I like this poem too! I cannot seem to find, I cannot speak to you. Umm. ...cannot seem to find what ? Probably dumb question, but I'd rather just say ...

Very good poem! Umm The central idea I was getting was the contrast of color/beauty and achromatism/nothingness. The last two lines then hit on light/darkness...? Mkay, and I would take ...

Thumbs up from me! I have a bad habit of daydreaming... I totally relate to this theme. I think it could have been longer!! Good progression through the points (danger, ...

It was cool for what it was... One comment though. "It was but a day ago Since he was playing In the shallows of Childhood water And now he has ...

Thanks Triona! I was dying to get some feedback! :) I don't have as much time as I'd like to contribute to writing... but I am likin YWS so far!

I also thought the rhyming was a little forced... nothing that can't be overcome with practice and expanding your vocabulary. I did think the idea was clever And I like ...

The moment you were hurt, the warmth Was gone With your song. Soon the chills of bitterness Come creeping Quietly keeping The rhythm of your pain. To escape You must ...

Umm, I'm new here... My "little thingie" (?) changed from New Member to Novice And I was wondering... is that determined by points or what? Thx

My first thought wasn't "emotional" but I suppose it does cover a variety of emotions... anger, hate, crying, anticipation... all found their way into your poem without making it overly ...

*I had to write a poem in trochaic tetrameter for English Lit I don't really care for it myself, but I thought I'd give you critics something to rip to ...

Pretty interesting ... I was a little disappointed to see a few spelling errors But other than that... I'd never looked into lucid dreaming before I love to sleep! It's ...

Hi I think you could work on using better grammar/English... But I have to say that your repetition of key words helps in keeping with your central theme -Amice (it's ...

A little flower felt a ray of sunshine for the first time. Responding to the natural attraction flowers are meant to have, She began to unfold and bloom. But when ...