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Re: Concrete Apocalypse
Hey There! Welcome to YWS. I really like what you did here. I didn't even notice your lack of punctuation. However, as a reviewer I feel the need to throw ...
Feb 19, 2009 -
Re: The Sea Always Wins
Hello there! I enjoyed reading this poem. You did a nice job. Stanza length was consistant, and the rhyming didn't feel forced overall. I just have some small nit picky ...
Feb 19, 2009 -
Re: Empty
Try to keep your stanza size consistant. It helps with the flow of the poem. the same goes for line length. I got the point you were trying to display ...
Feb 19, 2009 -
Re: L.O.V.E
Hello there, Rook, and welcome to YWS! I'm on a reviewing binge, so here goes. I like what you have going on here. However, it feels (this is going to ...
Feb 18, 2009 -
Re: Wolves (Love in the Sky)
I like what you did here. I just have some small nit picky things to comment on. Your first few stanzas were a bit lengthier, but then they got shorter. ...
Feb 18, 2009 -
Re: I Crashed and I Crumbled
I was going to mention that you should keep your stanza size the same throughout the poem except for the ending if you wish, but then I noticed that you ...
Feb 18, 2009 -
Re: Split Knuckles
I really enjoyed reading this. Typically I suggest that people keep their line length consistant throughout the poem, but in this case it works that the third stanza is different ...
Feb 18, 2009 -
Re: This Is My Fairytale
Repetition is a type pf poetry, and I don't think it is fair to tell you not to do it when it is the basis for your poem. If you ...
Feb 17, 2009 -
Re: Owl Eyes Part Two of Three
The plot is moving along very nicely with this. The story's structure is very easy to pick out, which is important. I like the way this story is going. But ...
Feb 17, 2009 -
Re: Cousin Benjamin
I thought this was really funny. I know how the narrator feels about having a perfect relative that everyone always has to talk about. Some of the rhyming felt a ...
Feb 17, 2009 -
Re: Dining Set
I don't think those mistakes were garish. Everyone messes up sometimes, and I often miss my mistakes becuase I know what it should say. I liked the story that your ...
Feb 17, 2009 -
Re: Reach the Top
I like how you havea clear song structure going on. Its important that that is easy to pick out, otherwise it wouldn't be much of a song. I would suggest ...
Feb 17, 2009 -
Re: Golf: The Meaning of Life
I didn't find any tense problems, just some nitpicky gramatical errors that I won't annoy you by pointing out. I myslef am a golfer, so I was attracted to this ...
Feb 17, 2009 -
Re: Locked Away
I was slightly thrown off and confused at the beginning of the poem, but then things started to clear up the further in I went. I love how you make ...
Feb 17, 2009 -
Re: My frog, my prince
I really enjoyed reading this poem. I loved how it started off in the opposite way of what we have gotten used to. I would have liked the poem if ...
Feb 17, 2009
