Aly_Tobias

I took it, and felt it, the feeling like a dagger into my heart. that's a bit jumpled there, just expand it a little and add some detail to smoothe ...

“ It’s something to laugh about…the way he said it.” say to said When you loose someone you're never the same again your to you're I sucked in my breath, ...

Looks like I've been beaten to the hard evil critique. *pouts* Well let me just tell you that you've got me hooked. There were gramatical mistakes and it could do ...

*happysquealw00t* Yay! Another addition! Sorry I took so long to find this! o.o You did good on adding description this time! And the thing about the honey eyes- *claps* I ...

OMG, now that is the situation I hope I am never put in. My dad would skin me before roasting me over a fire to then send down to [insert ...

Aww! This is so cute ! I can't help but love it! Alright, there are some errors but it already looks like they've been pointed out to you so I'll ...

Ok other than a bit of mistakes that I honestly don't feel like pointing out at the momet (I just woke up, forgive me) this is pretty good. I like ...

I've no complaints, good as ever. ^^ Mmm...auras. How I love to read about that subject. I'm glad you've incorperated it into your story, makes for a nice twist. I ...

Ok! :D Time for the fixing of errors, and all that other stuff known as critiquing. A piercing cry echoed about the Silver Ghost . The names of ships should ...

Wow, I really like this piece. You can easily feel the saddness, anger and resentment from the writer. *gives a gold star* :D It could do with some more description ...

As promised here are the revisions of Chapter 2! :D ------------------------------------------------------------------------- “ Armand !” I shrieked upon entering the school building. The crowded

I swear I listen to you all, I do, I do! Here's my revision of chapter 1. I hope you all like it better than the first draft. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- I ...

I can prove here that I listen to you all. ^^ Taking your advise to heart I've redone all that I've posted so far (still working on redoing Chapter 2 ...

Ok this one is very, very rough and therefore I would appreciate a lot of crit on this one guys, please ! ::Missapprehenion 2:: The Next Day “ Armand !” ...

I love it but you kinda need to space it better and there are a few unneccesary commas in your writing. At the moment I admit that I'm too lazy ...