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Re: The Forgotten (The story of Edward Masen's lost sister)
Hi, I noticed you were new here so welcome to YWS ! I haven't really heard of the book or movie of Edward Masen, but I'm getting the idea that ...
Mar 7, 2010 -
Re: Only Sixteen
Hey I'm Alyson, and I'm sorry I don't have that long to do a full review, but I can tell you right now that this is really really good. From ...
Mar 6, 2010 -
Re: Death's Blossom -- Prologue
Ok the only two things I noticed is that around the center of your story you statred saying "before" alot. Maybe it wasn't that much, but it was starting to ...
Mar 6, 2010 -
Re: Be mine (chapter 1)
I haven't seen something like this in awhile either. I really liked it! You did good with the humor. The only thing is there is so many things happening I ...
Mar 3, 2010 -
Re: Aberrant Romance-3
Hi, I'm Alyson, and I will be your critque today :) "I'm not!," She said giving me a real smile, "I'm a little sad, but I'm fine. I'm more happy ...
Mar 3, 2010 -
Re: Bye for now. Part II
hey, I though your story was ok, some parts were a little too dramatic though. You did a good job in including the major points in writing: Character, plot, scenerary, ...
Oct 30, 2009 -
Re: Zekkou 2 - Ch1
Hi my name is Alfreto and I will be critiquing your work :D “Keep moving.” the grungy guard spat at the line of male youths. that was the only grammer ...
Oct 30, 2009 -
Re: ~Raining in February~
WOW I really liked that one! :D I think you described it extremely well from a ten year olds point of view. yes it was short and I wish it ...
Jul 16, 2009 -
Re: Chapter One of an untitled romantic fiction piece
OK this story is AMAZING I love it! I love the whole story line and all the detail. You show all what your MC is feeling. I would like to ...
Jul 7, 2009 -
Re: The Inch - The Full Story - Chapter 1
OK, I'm going to honast with you and I apoligize now if I seem crude, but heres the criticque. I didn't see the point in that first chapter and if ...
Jul 7, 2009
