Alfreto

Thanks for the comments guys. I wrote this when I was in the middle of reading romeo and juliet and yes they were bothe thirteen. This was originally for a ...

This is really a collision of horror and romance, but I didn't know where else to put it. This is my first time writting something like this, but I'm feeling ...

I haven't seen something like this in awhile either. I really liked it! You did good with the humor. The only thing is there is so many things happening I ...

Hi, I'm Alyson, and I will be your critque today :) "I'm not!," She said giving me a real smile, "I'm a little sad, but I'm fine. I'm more happy ...

Juliet sits against her window seal, her legs draped out into the cool night air. The silk nightdress, covering her bare body, flows loosely in the wind. The evening lies ...

ok for those of you who need a little hint about the story :P this is non-ficiton meaning it doesn't allways have to happened to me its just fact. its ...

Dear Mr. Somebody, We may not know it yet, but someday somehow we are going to fall in love. I may have seen you around once or twice, in fact, ...

Capri was light with a slab of muscle on each particle of her slender body. Her long, flowing blond hair flew gracefully down her back. Fairy dust sparkled inside her ...

hey, I though your story was ok, some parts were a little too dramatic though. You did a good job in including the major points in writing: Character, plot, scenerary, ...

Hi my name is Alfreto and I will be critiquing your work :D “Keep moving.” the grungy guard spat at the line of male youths. that was the only grammer ...

I decided to write it recovering from my first heart break, I was scared of moving foward and finding someone else who would most likly do the same, but then ...

Yeah I know what you are thinking. :P This is just some crappy lecture that will you don't want to hear and will bore you the whole way through, but ...

WOW I really liked that one! :D I think you described it extremely well from a ten year olds point of view. yes it was short and I wish it ...

ok I like that you added on to it and added a little background info :) , but what I really want to see is information on that very moment ...

hey, you might reconize this as twilightxd. well thats becuz I am twilightxd and decided that I needed a fresh start with this storry. OK I looked over this a ...