Alfreto

"Lucy, stop!" I screamed, shaking her harshly. Tears streaming down my face, welled down to her blood stained neck. It was dark. Still night time, and we were still in ...

Realyn The house was empty and cold. I could feel myself shivering inside my own body. For once I was quiet and still. My hyperactivity was the reason Mommy and ...

I don't think I've ever read the story from the monster's point of view except for Monsters Inc that is. But this one really brought me in to what it ...

I was starting to read the beginning of this and scrolled down ahead of time, prepared to go ahead and dig into a long keep on rolling page or two, ...

I liked your second one almost as much as I did the next. Don't listen to what anyone else says about the writing style without much detail and everything else. ...

I Love this! (: I loved how you made it into a poem form; it kept the reader at the beat you wanted them to read the story. Very creative. ...

Thank You! ok I fixed it so people can really go and see the pic now

you should tell me how to the pic. I feel like an idiot because everyone else has one and I can't figure the stupid thing out :P

This is the prologue and first chapter of an idea of a new novel I had in mind. There will be a flashback later after ever chapter, but I thought ...

Welcome to YWS! :) My name is Aly-son and I am honored to be your very first critic. Let me start by saying that I'm simply giving my general opinion ...

Name: Realyn Age: 5 3/4 Appearance: Blond crazy curls, bright blue eyes, baby face, super-large mouth, short stubby figure, always wearing pink. Illness: H.D.H.D (hyperactive disorder. Above crazyness

[quote["Hey, Cammy." I said giving him a hug. [/quote] You need to change the period into a coma at the end of all your diologue when clarrifying who said it. ...

Ok first I think it would be considerate of me to welcome you to YWS (: I'm Alyson and I will be one of your critics. The very first thing ...

I haven't been on this site in forever. Now there is too many things added I don't know what to do. Ahh scary. Too many new things. Don't know where ...

Wow! This was really good! Wasn'y expecting that ending at all. Except the beging after the short intro. I don't know what was about it, but it just didn't really ...