Aisho

WARNING: nudity. I debated whether or not to make this "R," but plenty of PG-13 movies are just a little too revealing, so ... I don't know. If you think ...

Aaand ... more short chapters. I'll go back and combine them later, but for simplicity's sake, they're going to stay this way on YWS. I don't have much to say ...

Pfffft. What happened to more Brad/Kiera? I'm obscenely enthralled by those two. :D I am *such* a sucker for a good romance. Not to mention I love the idea of ...

I want you to go back and reread it slooowly and caaaarefully. Inch by agonizing inch. lol You had a lot of grammar mistakes, not that I cared. The net ...

It was really good. I like cliche, and while yes, it kind of was, it was AWESOME CLICHE. :D Moral should be mortal. As in mortal danger--not moral danger. "Ye ...

EDIT: yeahyeah well now there's chapter titles >:P lol I posted this half asleep ... even forgot to put "the blue king" on the top ... *sigh* And thus begins ...

EDIT: Firstly ... *ashamed*. Secondly ... don't worry about Agulin. You'll need to know him in the sequel, but this is Book I. So relax. Just remember Anull = Big ...

Whew! Chapter nine! This is where the story really begins--so there shouldn't be too many info-dumps ahead. This is one of my favorite chapters, simply because I get to talk ...

Yay! The explanation chapter!! This is the problem with doing this in small increments; if you'd had them all at once, you'd have been confused and kept reading and then ...

Oho! It would appear I have switched gears on you! :D I'm a big fan of the elusive-enemy-random-chapter-appearance style, so here's my random chapter. Also, there's a lot of new ...

You certainly have a lot going for you--your ability to connect with the reader is well developed. This is where you should STOP. Stop writing descriptively and start thinking about ...

I'm not very comfortable with this chapter, so if you see any way to improve it, please, let me know. I cut out a lot, because I had a *ton* ...

okayokayokay I think you know what I'm gonna say. TYPOS AND REPEPITION AND TYPOS AND BLAHBLAHBLAH --- forget all that other stuff, this was great! :D There *were* a ton ...

I want to thank everyone for the critique they've given, and *dearly* hope you continue. :] There's nothing more to say except ~ enjoy!! ------------------------------------------------------------- I

Okay, I know y'all are confused and wondering WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS ... but please, bear with me. If it's the omg-action you're looking for, it's coming, but it's ...