Aisho

This chapter is short -- I know it is short -- but nevertheless ... here it is. This is actually the chapter on which the sequel is based, but never ...

Actually, it's despair ... I was being facetious. ;) You said to spell something wrong, after all. Hence the underline.

The things I'm worried about have to do specifically with grammar and formatting, but they're nothing that can't be easily fixed. My best advice would be to go over it ...

Ah, Anull. Chapter Thirty-six has some parts in it that I find exceedingly awkward, but I cannot find a remedy for it. If you spot the parts and have something ...

This chapter means a lot to me, mostly because this is what the entire book is about. I don't have much to say about it, because it's mostly self-explanatory. ~*~ ...

Be careful with your pronouns in the beginning ~ you started losing definition between the characters. That can get really confusing really fast. I really enjoyed it. For all that ...

This has been pretty well picked over already, so all I'll say is that you need to be wary of "mysterious openings." You're trying to make us wonder what's going ...

I'm a little bit lost as to the point of any of this ... I feel like I'm constantly traveling and the tour guide keeps saying "It's a surprise, you'll ...

I'm combining the two a) because they're both short, and b) because most of Chapter Thirty-two I'm very, very tempted to cut out. Some of it really is essential, but ...

Commas. You have to work on your comma usage. You have commas in places they shouldn't be, and then you switch tenses right in the middle of the sentence. Example: ...

I *really* enjoyed it. :) The only thing that I really could not abide (the other mistakes are no doubt errors in speed, which happen to me all the time ...

Well, folks, this is it! C: The reason my novel is titled "The Blue King"! I like this chapter primarily because of the fighting scene. ^_~ Tell me what you ...

This is quite possibly my favorite chapter. C: Aedaan is a very interesting character to me, one that I regret to say doesn't play an overly large role in the ...

Ah, Anae. I love her to death. :D There's not much to say about this chapter, except to say -- I'm sorry about dumping Tsuunai in your lap. I felt ...