Aedomir

Very interesting to read! I really liked the way that you didn't say whay people were dying outside, and the way the scene just skipped between the first two. She ...

Having said that, I would say that all these novellas you have been writing, you should put them together and make them into a collection of short stories, that's be ...

Wow thanks that was far more helpful lol! Character development: 8/10 Plot development: 9.5/10 (great job there!!!) Descriptions: 6.5/10 Wording: 6/10 Grammar: 7/10 Originality: 6/10 (change the name

This is my favourite of the book so far, good job! I liked the way your character kept on thinking what he thought, it is a good way to get ...

thats helpful

Thanks for the review... It was my first attempt and character history, and incorporating the main storyline. Seridon knows more than Aedomir because Seridon has been alive for the last ...

Chapter Two Part III Aedomir looked round and caught a glimpse of the passage they had come from. A major host of Kalbarcs piled out towards Aedomir and Seridon. The ...

Hi! As always, I am grateful for your reviews. One things definatley shines out: Messiness... I think maybe its the constant battles I have going on. If you think about ...

Thanks Jabber! Nice suggestions, it works much better now thanks

Wow! Even though I am a fantasy writer, I find such novels difficult to get into sometimes, but not this. It looks brilliant, and I see potential steaming through it. ...

I don't care what other people say, I think this is really good. I think what Jezza meant was that the style appeals to him. Now I've read it, I ...

Hi Jezza! So I couldn't really critique your work at my house yesterday, so here goes... OK, its difficultt to tell what's going to happen to here, which is wht ...

Chapter Two Part II Seridon notched an arrow, and sent it hurdling towards the Kalbarc with a twang . The beast stumbled to the ground, and with a clamber tried ...

lol thanks

I really don't need this kind of competition lol. Just a quick look... The two embraced in the dark room, her father bumping the two of them against the cabinets, ...