AdoxagraphyAngelus

Aw, this was cute and comedic. :) I really enjoyed it, and it gave me a good laugh.

Hey. :) First off, welcome to YWS. You'll love it. Second, your poem is lacking context and hooks. You need to draw your reader in, even in poetry, and make ...

Another awesome chapter, Micki-More. :) The pounding in my head woke me from my dull unconsciousness. I realized with confusion that I was no longer near the car wreck. I ...

Haha, this was surprisingly comedic. I love how Derek took the poem literally. It was really cute.

Hey hey hey. :) Something about this poem was just a bit off for some reason. I think it was because of your unique and interesting way of writing poetry. ...

Hey, Micki-More. :) I agree with Caligraphy, who reviewed before me, work on your hook. The first sentence needs to pull people in, make them want more, leave them wondering ...

Micki dear! I'm here to review your story in return for reviewing my story. ;P (I love ya!) “Not everything is fun and games, you know,” Kailee repeated to me ...

Nice job. :) One thing, though, and I'll point it out in some of the lines. You say you won't leave, You will. You say life is a game that ...

Hello. :) Onto the nit-picks. :) A sincere and tender kiss- you planted on my cheek, It made my bones feel soft and weak and swole ( Swole? That's not ...

Nice job! Interesting poem. :D But I'm not sure about the way you broke off the lines. It's interesting for sure, but it didn't really give to the poem. Simply ...

Over-all, I really did enjoy this poem, and I have very few nit-picks for it. :) I can't hack this water straight off my back, (This sounds kind of...Awkward, for ...

You know what? I stopped caring. I stopped caring the moment the year started. The moment I saw your stinkin, ugly face. Home-work, you suck. (In case you didn't catch ...

He says he was out, But his eyes say something different. You can smell the perfume, and champagne on his breath. You tell yourself you don't care, but you keep ...

This was really well written. You conveyed the emotion very well. Please, young man, Not my daughter. I see the mischief in your eyes, This line is.... Amazing. And I ...

That was pretty good. I got what you were saying, but it kind of lacked some emotion. Though, I feel like it's nearly perfect without the emotion for some reason. ...