Adnamarine

This is just disturbing and creepy! What a horrible thing to find out! I wonder how long they were married... yuck. I heard this in the news ages ago and ...

You know what I find absolutely disgusting about this whole thing is the 'escort' who had Spitzor for a client (actually her name is something like Ashley Dupree or something ...

I do like this. In the beginning especially your structure is interesting. Mostly what I'd suggest is not trying to rhyme everything after 'Gone.' It struck me as forced and ...

This is... well done... in structure, rhythm, punctuation, grammar, and all that it's good. Very good, in fact. I just couldn't really bring myself to care about it, though. It ...

Definately interesting. And you're right, it does have good flow. Slightly creepy... but I guess that was kind of what you were going for? The repetition at the end was... ...

Hey there! :smt006 Welcome to YWS! If you love writing, then you definately came to the right place. If you ever need help with anything feel free to PM and ...

Wow! This is really, really good! "Tsuki no Usagi"... love it:) For your first attempt at poetry, this is amazing! *adna*

Hold on, why is this in the nonfiction section?

Hey, welcome to YWS! You've come to the must superfantabulous place for writing! PM when you have some posted and I'll gladly give you a crit. Have fun! *adna*

The revised version was much better than the first. It still is a bit obvious. If I were you I would get rid of "A storm is a powerful beast" ...

Oh crap. I wrote a lovely review and then my computer decided to be stupid. But I'll try to remember what I said... A thousand stars stared back, splattered on ...

*sighs* Indiana Jones... wow. I got all excited when I heard that Cate Blanchett is in it! I think she's the bad guy... but she looks terrible in it! Oh ...

I have Shafter to thank! THANK YOU SHAFTER! We were both on this other site and she recommended this to me. I am so glad I took her advice:)

Revenge

They give you names and numbers-- just for you , but not unique. Perfect rhythm, I love this verse. They take comfort in your empirical structure. If you don't fit ...