Abocreature

I like how you changed perspectives there! Great job! ^^ There are a couple errors I found, though, that I put in bold: Chapter two Jack drove a little crazier ...

This has gotten me very interested. ^^ A few sentences you may want to rewrite, but overall, great job! The other people took all the mistakes I would point out, ...

He was the oldest in this family, the one who gave this family life. He was very handsome for his age (Comma, I think...) and I could see why Odette ...

I thought I might submit this now while I'm working on the my other story. Hope you enjoy it! ^^ -------------------------------------- Chapter 4 I reached for my knife, but it ...

Ok then, I will continue! And thanks for the support, I'm really glad someone likes this! ;) Oh, and I tried axe, but for some reason it isn't in my ...

Thanks a bunch, ashleylee, that actually helped a lot. ^^ Ok, so I edited to story according to the reviews an critiques I got, I hope it's better. ^^

Thank you, summergrl. That sure gives me confidence ^^.

This chapter was better, I'm starting to enjoy this story more and more. ^^ Thank you for PMing me, I really like reading this. ^^ I can't wait for the ...

Thank you all for the critiques, I'll go through and see what I can fix. ^^

Thank you, these are the kind of reviews I enjoy because it helps me improve. I'll try to work on my neutral voice and dialogue thing. ^^

Here’s chapter 1, enjoy! ^^ ------------------------------------ Lilly: Lilly slipped on a T-shirt and jeans and brushed her long, black hair. She walked over to the kitchen and grabbed a piece ...

Thank you, that really means a lot to me. ^^

Ok, so I've almost completely changed it. I hope you all enjoy the edited version! ^^

Excellent chapter as always! ^^ This is all so exciting! I can't wait until the next chapter! Keep up the good work! ^^ As always, I love they way you ...

This was pretty good. A few shaky sentences here and there. I'm wondering what will happen next. Overall, it was more of a plot build chapter, which is what the ...