Abocreature

Thank you very much, Xyra. You were quite helpful! I revised it a bit, and I hope it answers all of your questions. :)

Sweat prickled her brow in this moment, super-heated blood flushing to her cheeks. That feeling, that climactic scent of romantic experience engulfed her, and nervous as she may be, the ...

This is good writing with only a few grammatical errors, but... I agree with Flyers. This chapter didn't hold my attention for more than a few paragraphs. It seemed like ...

Great job. You've gone back to gripping me like you did in the first chapter. Very few grammatical mistakes besides what was already said, and I can feel a lot ...

Since it's been almost half a year without any sort of response, I decided to upload my submission for the Steam Punk Anthology that this site told me about. ------------------------------------------

I'm sorry for starting this review off negatively, but this was a bit disappointing. Your first chapter was definitely more interesting, but this one seemed really... well, cliche. It didn't ...

This was very intriguing- in a good way. I found myself very into the characters, and got a real feel for Jack. That, however, leads to my first point. Not ...

The story almost instantly hooked me. The emotions, expressions, and explanations were all very realistic and gripping. It really made me wonder how these special powers of hers works, or ...

Hello again, Faia. For good points... Wow. Simply amazing. The story is developing very well. Questions were pouring from my brain throughout the reading. I could feel the fear, and ...

Hello, Faia. For positives... You know, from the initial description it sounded like a matrix-type story. However, after reading it (which I'm glad I did), it's a lot better than ...

Chapter 2 I stopped suddenly and fell to the cold ground from the pressure of a blizzard. “Wait… snow? It’s July…” I looked around. Barely visible. I gave one final ...

Thanks anyway. I'll go fix the mistakes I made. I'll do my best to make chapter 2 a lot more interesting.

Thanks a lot! I'll go through and fix it. I promise it will get better later on, this was just to provide some background info.

Chapter 1 “It’ll be fun, Ryuu, don’t worry!” Albert, my stepfather, said rather cheerfully, his meaty arms clutching the steering wheel. “Whatever,” I mumbled, sitting in the back seat wit

This chapter was incredible! I love the emotion put out in this! It's amazing how well you can write! I wish I could write like you... I'm not a good ...