AVilicious666

have at it. >

basta... evil.

the circus. Then a clown with fangs lunged at me and...

Snoink - I'm on my spring break, too. It's amazing, isn't it, not having to get up at ungodly hours in the morning for a little while? I like drinking ...

EDITED: Just a few things changed, but hopefully it makes a difference. ^.^ Chocolate Chip Fantasies Life lingers like the aroma of Mama's cookies. When I couldn't sleep, she'd spend ...

Try and play with line breaks. Yours are way too long, which takes away from the power of the words. People have very short attention spans, so with poetry, you ...

Try and work on your grammar- it's off in a few places. Maybe try for some more figurative language, too. Also, you need to work on your punctuation. Your flow ...

It seems like your rhyming is forced, and when people tend to force their rhymes, it hinders their ability to really let loose and usually upsets the flow more than ...

Anyways- Hi. I'm A.V. [[Or you can call me Ashurii -Whichever you like best- or can remember easiest.]] So how is everyone?

I changed the rating of this poem to R. Please, you don't have to rate things all of the time, but especially if it is R content, rate your work! ...

Eat My Flaws Like They're Putrid Delicacies You are the fly of my body- munching and crunching away at the dusty must within my folds. The dirt and grime in ...

My feelings for you have gone, show this. gimme some kind of simile or metaphor. Banished forever as if never born, You could do so much with this. Never again ...

Standing on the corner Always looking in. Looking in to what? Develop this more here. Standing there, I fought to wonder What do I see in him? I tend to ...