ASH1397

hey there :) i liked this short story; i think i definately portrays the insane thoughts of a girl around her man. And i also think that this was well ...

Absolutely. Amazing. I liked how you put in Romeo and Juliet parts in there, THAT'S what makes a classic. Which is exactly what this is; a classic. The ending was ...

Amazing, amazing, amazing! The whole story was chilling, and very descriptive of the overall scene of what was happening, and kind of the inward terror the girl felt. that piano ...

To answer the question, "Why did she go to the hospital?" is this: Whenever the bloody nose came about, and the world was spinning around Grace, she was having a ...

Welcome :) I'm Ash. :) With the whole critiquing thing, don't worry about it. It is solely to help each other out, and give each other different perspectives on things. ...

Hey! *waves back* :) Welcome to YWS. I'm sure we'll enjoy your work on here. I'll be happy to help you, if you'd like. Feel free to PM me anytime ...

Behind her, the noise escalated, an ever growing siren of the bar. The sounds of laughter, and heavy bass drowned out all reality as the vibrating tones grew louder until ...

Hello there:) I really must say, this was a very interesting read. i liked how you centered the entire story around a simple child hood game of chance. It was ...

Hello there, Luxe! This. Was. AMAZING. The romance, the genuine emotion, the loss, the suspense. This piece was heart wrenching right through the very end. You captured the point of ...

hello there :) I really loved this piece. i felt like I connected with this because its very realistic, and because i've been through something similar. I think this piece ...

Hello there :) I would just like to say that this piece is very, very descriptive. i could visualize the things you said, and it's very moving. i think this ...

Hello there! I would just like to say very well written! the sense of mystery gives the whole story kind of a good vibe, kind of an erie vibe as ...

Hello! :) First off, I saw nothing wrong as far as I'm concerned with as far as grammar. Next, I would just like to say, in this short piece I ...

I love this piece! Mostly because I've been in a situation like this before, ad it hit close to home. I think you did a good job kind of developing ...

Hello :) I really enjoyed this piece --- not that the girl was being abused, but the message that love really does blind people to the wrong choices that they ...