ASH1397

hello there :) Great piece. I'm going to do a few nitpicks, then the overall impression Trying to take the pressure of wishing it was someone else instead. no "h" ...

Simply. Amazing. You put in a different picture in my head with each paragraph, and you were very descriptive in not-so-descriptive words. Finally, once you’ve taken all I have left ...

hello there :) i thought this was pretty good. You have it all well thought out, and it seems like a great story line. You should probably clear up the ...

hello there :) just a few nitpicks I was happy to hear my own voice instead of her squeaky voice. An "a" instead of two "e"'s in squeaky. "Oh , ...

Hello there. :) I've got to say, this puts an entirely new perspective on things. A few nitpicks then I'll get on with it.. So , what if a bunch ...

Hello there! :D Bravo! this was well thought out and had a lot of great parts in here. I think that you should have expanded more on the past relationship ...

Hello there. :) Great piece :) really sad, and a big emotion trigger. Carly’s daddy left when the big buildings fell over. I'm guessing 9/11? Please tell me if I'm ...

Hello there! :) Great story clip! There were places where is was a little hard to follow, but it was all well thought out. You used dialogue really well in ...

Hello there :) I'll start out with some nitpicks. "WE NEVER DID!!! THAT BASTARD KILLED HER ONE WEEK BEFORE MY 18th BIRTHDAY!!!!" Easy on the caps and exclamation points here ...

Hello there :) I like this piece and I don't have any nitpicks for it. I do think that you could have given names for the characters, though. And you ...

Hello there :) I think this is really cute; paper sending a letter to paper, probably on paper, about loving another paper. Confusing, but cute :) This was well written ...

She sat there and couldn't think of anything to write. Sitting there in front of a blank screen, she was simply thinking. The white blank document page screaming at her ...

Hello there :) Great story! I'll start out with some nit picks: As I sit on the coast of the stone cold ocean, I watch the sunset. Their mixes of ...

Hello there! :D I really enjoyed your story! Onto the nitpicks! Yes, it might sound obsessive or stupid or like I am too in love, but I'm not in love. ...

Hello there :) Well written! :) I think this has alot of potential to be an entire story, like I could see this as a good start to something else. ...