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Re: Introduction to "Eternity"
Wow. :shock: This is pretty good for a first post. A lot of people here post so-so works their first time just to level with other people. This was really ...
Nov 3, 2008 -
Re: L'ange Noir (The Black Angel) part 1
:smt055 This is looking like a good romance! I really like how mysterious the whole thing is. I say that a lot . "Mysterious." But I sort of go looking ...
Nov 2, 2008 -
Re: The Dereth Saga - Prologue
Quote: Neeson had never seen so many bodies. Good start! This really drew me in. Quote: He had known the men less than a fortnight and now they all lie ...
Nov 2, 2008 -
Re: the plunge.
Screams that could pierce any heart Float toward the blackened heavens Chaos The civilized world Gone under Plunged into eternal night Yikes. It's a good start, compelling and frightening, but ...
Oct 29, 2008 -
Re: Me, Anna Graham
Ha! This is awesome. I'm great friends with my parents. At school, people talk about hating their parents ("Won't let me go to so-and-so's party, won't let me get a ...
Oct 29, 2008 -
Re: The Triangle Effect
I agree with lucyy and the suggestions she made. I think you might need to work on your main character's . . . well, main-ness. I don't think there's enough ...
Oct 28, 2008 -
Re: The Piano Man
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Oct 27, 2008 -
Re: Catch Every Butterfly: Chapter One
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Oct 23, 2008 -
Re: Prologue of 'Bloody Canvas'
Prologue The boy’s brow furrowed as he guided the paintbrush across the canvas. The #1 chocolate-colored paint blotched on the canvas like blood welling from a wound… Wait a minute, ...
Oct 23, 2008 -
Re: One More Song
Leona Daniels bolted up in darkness, the alien shadows only adding to the fresh memory of her nightmare… Crouching behind the couch, watching her husband be slaughtered…the maniac’s eyes meeting
Oct 23, 2008 -
Re: The Institute, Part One
This was good, but I saw a few grammar and punctuation mistakes in there, though I don't remember where. I think you should add some sort of prologue, or just ...
Oct 23, 2008 -
Re: Vampires are not scary!
There's not much to say. I will be looking for this when you've re-written it. Tell your teacher to zip up the man-pants and hurry up! I would CHANGE THE ...
Oct 21, 2008 -
Re: Are you writing a novel right now?
Yup. I can't say what it's about, cause I don't want people to copy. And I'm not gonna post it here, for the same reason. :D
Oct 3, 2008 -
Re: Alvalor 2.1
Will looked around the little cabin as Napodi hurried off to find her father. It was small and rustic, yet had an almost homey feeling to it. The windows had ...
Oct 1, 2008 -
Re: The Note
I think this is good, but I also think it could use a little work. First of all, I think that instead of just laying out in front of everyone ...
Sep 24, 2008