$luckylucas$

This is a really interesting idea. It belongs more in sci fi, but I like the mutated aspect to Lucas. You should describe the mutation in Lucas a little bit ...

Well done, especially for a first time! You seemed to have edited it well too. A few minor things-- Then I screamed. I screamed as the plane plummeted out of ...

It's a little confusing. You might want to tell a little more about what happened before this scene. Also I don't know the setting. The forced marriage part sounds like ...

slightly deluding the smell of old cigarettes and pretended cleanliness What does the smell of 'pretended cleanliness' smell like? You shouldn't use visual language to describe a scent. A tiny ...

Well written, but instead of having bug after bug after bug, mix it up alittle. He needs to overcome some obstacle for this to really classify as an adventure. Maybe ...

This is the first chapter to my new novel that I’m writing. The basic theme is that a high school gets so bad that God sends Angels to fix it. ...

sorry for the s. It was an accident.

I like the show twilight zone so I decided to write a twighlight-zone-ish short story. This is kind of creepy, but it's not meant to be a novel-like story. Here ...

A good Job! Bravo

I like how you start with a James bond-like intro The name is Killer, Max Killer. On the part where you write I went up to one of the tables ...

Since he had nowhere to live and no money, Clover decided the best thing to do was get a job. He wandered the cold streets of the village, not knowing ...

Very interesting, I've never read a story like this one before...I don't know if that's a good thing. Not Bad but not good.

IT IS DA BOMB!