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Giving-December contest!



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Sun Dec 19, 2010 2:48 am
Sunshine says...



Spoiler! :
This is for the December contest! It took me forever to figure out what to write about and now I'm rather nerveous! This is my first contest as well as my first Non-fiction. I know it reaches a lot, but it's giving people! It kinda has to. So...Um...Enjoy? :o


" I am only one, but still, I am one. I cannot do everything but I can do something. And, because I can't do everything, I will not refuse to do what I can."
-Edward Everett Hale

A wise man once said that Christmas is about giving, not receiving. A smart man once said to give is to recieve. A child once said, "Dad, can you trim up the branches of our tree so all my presents can fit under it?"

Like the wise man said, Christmas should be about giving to the less fortunate. The truth of the matter? If your around my age, the most you've given is a couple cans for your school can food drive. If your out of school or home schooled, it's probably even harder to give. Now, I may be wrong, but isn't it time you do more? I'm no master on anyone's life, but if were on this computer were pretty darn lucky. There are people out there without a roof over there head or yummy food to look forward to. We should help them. Spread what was so kindly given to us. Reach out a hand.

A teacher of mine told us that his daughter, a third grader, took a quarter to school for popcorn day. After getting her popcorn, she noticed several kids without any. The next day, after stealing a handful of quarters from her dad's piggy bank, bought several bags of popcorn to give to the poor kids who didn't have any. Thanks to her, every single third grader in the room had a bag of popcorn. that is, except for the young girl who had made it happen. How is it, my dear writers, that a seven year-old has more courage, heart, and sacrifice to give than most of us?

I'm on the student council at my school and last week we delivered cans from the canned food drive to the community center. Our small middle school, grades fifth through eighth, raised over three thousand cans. Not impressed yet? in the eighth grade there are about eighty kids. Impressed or not, it was amazing to see how much of an impact we made. It was amazing to see the dent EVERYONE put in. Stacks of cans, piles of books, and boxes of books. All in a small town in Michigan, U.S.A. The best thing probably was how many volunteers showed up. How many people showed up, putting aside daily schedule to come help the needy. Yet can you imagine...Can you imagine if every single person in that town cared as much as those volunteers? How many rooms full of stuff there would be? How many Christmas' would be changed? So, so many. Now imagine the biggest city in your state or province. Imagine if everyone in that city cared as much of those volunteers. Now imagine the sky scrapers full of stuff that less fortunate people would receive. How many cans of food and toys kids could receive. How much impact just one place could have on the country or even the world. Just imagine...

What drives people to give? What makes people ring that bell for the salvation army in extreme temperatures? Maybe it's that warm fuzzy feeling inside, like your walking on a rainbow. Or maybe it's that grateful smile that lights up your inside's like a thousand fireworks. It could be knowing that you discovered one of the real meanings of Christmas-of the Holiday's in general. Giving has a drive. Why do you think Kris Kringle gave presents to children, all those years ago? Why Jesus was born, only to give us the ultimate Christmas present all those years later? It's a part of us. It's what Christmas is.

So far, I've made it sound like you have to do something big. YOU DON"T! Just do something. Send that old stuffed animal you haven't played with in years to a nearby charity. Smile at that hobo on the city street. Give a dollar to the salvation army person.It doesn't matter how near Christmas is. Anything, anytime. Pick up the books of someone who dropped them. Yell, " Merry Christmas", to anyone who crosses you're path. Bringing joy is giving.

On the other hand, you may think a donation or smile won't help. You are DEAD wrong. The night sky would be empty without stars. Our pantry would be hollow without every single can that is in there. Because of your one can, a small family may feast on a can of corn for Christmas. A smile among a sea of frowns is like the first flower of the season. You may flip around the worst day ever. If someone tells you that your donation or kindness won't help, yell in their face. Seriously. If everyone thought like that, the hungry people would stay hungry. No Santa would come to children who needed him. Or, more correct, you would not come to their call. One in a million makes a million. Your gift matters. I promise.

So go out on a limb this Christmas and Holiday season. Go out on a limb for your life. Give where no one's given before. It doesn't matter when it is. Drop a quarter on the sidewalk in the middle of July. Spread Christmas cheer all year. Because it's not a day. It's a spirit that can travel for as long as you let it. You can alway's make a difference-wherever you are. So please reach out a helping hand for those in need. Give.
Last edited by Sunshine on Sun Dec 19, 2010 2:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I have loved the words and I have hated them. I only hope I have made them right.

---The Book Thief---

Hi, I'm Sunshine! It's lovely to meet you!
  





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Sun Dec 19, 2010 5:02 am
TheWalkinDude says...



Ahh, giving. Such a great feeling to give. So, for my gift to you, help and guidance for your contest entry:

Iiscraftywriter wrote:
Spoiler! :
This is for the December contest! It took me forever to figure out what to write about and now I'm rather nerveous! This is my first contest as well as my first Non-fiction. I know it reaches a lot, but it's giving people! It kinda has to. So...Um...Enjoy? :o



A wise man once said that Christmas is about giving, not receiving. A smart man once said to give is to receive. A child once said, "Dad, can you trim up the branches of our tree so all my presents can fit under it?" I like this opening. It kind of warms the reader up for what's to come.

Like the wise man said, Christmas should be about giving to the less fortunate. The truth of the matter? If your around my age, the most you've given is a couple cans for your school can food drive. If your out of school or home schooled, it's probably even harder to give. Now, I may be wrong, but isn't it time you do more? I'm no master on anyone's life, but if were on this computer were pretty darn lucky. There are people out there without a roof over there head or yummy food to look forward to. We should help them. Spread what was so kindly given to us. Reach out a hand.

A teacher of mine told us that his daughter, a third grader, took a quarter to school for popcorn day. After getting her popcorn, she noticed several kids without any. The next day, after stealing a handful of quarters from her dad's piggy bank, bought several bags of popcorn to give to the poor kids who didn't have any. Thanks to her, every single third grader in the room had a bag of popcorn. That is, except for the young girl who had made it happen. How is it, my dear writers, that a seven year-old has more courage, heart, and sacrifice to give than most of us?

I'm on the student council at my school and last week we delivered cans from the canned food drive to the community center. Our small middle school, grades fifth through eighth, raised over three thousand cans. Not impressed yet? In the eighth grade there are about eighty kids. Impressed or not, it was amazing to see how much of an impact we made. It was amazing to see the dent EVERYONE put in. Stacks of cans, piles of books, and boxes of books. All in a small town in Michigan, U.S.A. The best thing probably was how many volunteers showed up. How many people showed up, putting aside daily schedule to come help the needy. Yet can you imagine...Can you imagine if every single person in that town cared as much as those volunteers? How many rooms full of stuff there would be? How many Christmas' would be changed? So, so many. Now imagine the biggest city in your state or province. Imagine if everyone in that city cared as much of those volunteers. Now imagine the sky scrapers full of stuff that less fortunate people would receive. How many cans of food and toys kids could receive. How much impact just one place could have on the country or even the world. Just imagine...

What drives people to give? What makes people ring that bell for the salvation army in extreme temperatures? Maybe it's that warm fuzzy feeling inside, like your walking on a rainbow. Or maybe it's that grateful smile that lights up your inside's like a thousand fireworks. It could be knowing that you discovered one of the real meanings of Christmas-of the Holiday's in general. Giving has a drive. Why do you think Kris Kringle gave presents to children, all those years ago? Why Jesus was born, only to give us the ultimate Christmas present all those years later? It's a part of us. It's what Christmas is.

So far, I've made it sound like you have to do something big. YOU DON'T! Just do something. Send that old stuffed animal you haven't played with in years to a nearby charity. Smile at that hobo on the city street. Give a dollar to the salvation army person.It doesn't matter how near Christmas is. Anything, anytime. Pick up the books of someone who dropped them. Yell, " Merry Christmas", to anyone who crosses you're path. Bringing joy is giving.

On the other hand, you may think a donation or smile won't help. You are DEAD wrong. The night sky would be empty without stars. Our pantry would be hollow without every single can that is in there. Because of your one can, a small family may feast on a can of corn for Christmas. A smile among a sea of frowns is like the first flower of the season. You may flip around the worst day ever. If someone tells you that your donation or kindness won't help, yell in their face. Seriously. If everyone thought like that, the hungry people would stay hungry. No Santa would come to children who needed him. Or, more correct, you would not come to their call. One in a million makes a million. Your gift matters. I promise.

So go out on a limb this Christmas and Holiday season. Go out on a limb for your life. Give where no one's given before. It doesn't matter when it is. Drop a quarter on the sidewalk in the middle of July. Spread Christmas cheer all year. Because it's not a day. It's a spirit that can travel for as long as you let it. You can always make a difference-wherever or whenever you are. So please. Just give. I don't really like that whenever part in there. Maybe consider revising? Other than that, great!


I really loved this little essay you wrote. It's sending a clear message and stating reasons and examples and holds the reader's attention very well. Now, I'm not going to say this will win the contest, but I will say it's probably got a good fighting chance! Just revise those spelling and grammar problems and it will be perfect!
I'm striving to be the Architect of the Apocalypse, Master of the Massacre, Ruler of the Rapture, and the Führer of the Fatal.

"It is the tale, not he who tells it." --Stephen King

Take THAT, society!
  





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131 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 3558
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Sun Dec 19, 2010 2:40 pm
Sunshine says...



Thank you so much! Your review helped a load. I know my spellingsa bad, but I think it's genetics! Let's cross our fingers!
I have loved the words and I have hated them. I only hope I have made them right.

---The Book Thief---

Hi, I'm Sunshine! It's lovely to meet you!
  





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Sun Dec 19, 2010 6:16 pm
Sins says...



Hey Crafty. :)

As I'm sure you know, non-fiction isn't my high point when it comes to critiques. Taking that into account, I can't guarantee that this review will be that long or helpful. I will try my best though to come up with something helpful for you to work on.

The only negative I can come up with is one I'm not even sure can count. Now, I love the idea of this essay and I think you wrote it in a very good way. What I'd maybe suggest for you to do though is, well, maybe sound a little less harsh. For example, you say that Christmas is all about giving, but at times, it almost felt like you were scolding people for enjoying receiving gifts and such. I'll try and expand...

Although giving is certainly more important than receiving, you need to make sure that you include both sides of things. Even if you just pop in a sentence describing the fact that although receiving is wonderful, you have to remember that giving is just as great, if not more. I mean, in the end, without having anyone to receive, it's impossible to give! Do you kind of see what I'm getting at? You could even do this by describing it alongside what giving does. you know, how it makes people feel and such. You've done a bit of this, so if you add the positives of receiving as well as giving alongside it, it would be a good thing to do.

The only nit-pick I have for you is about your grammar. Now, it's not too bad, I have to say, but I did notice you misusing commas now and then. I didn't nit-pick overall because I didn't really feel the need to. There was only one or two errors, so there isn't really any need to bring them up really. I'm awfully sorry I haven't been much help...

Keep writing,

xoxo Skins
I didn't know what to put here so I put this.
  








I always prefer to believe the best of everybody; it saves so much trouble.
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