Cold Winds

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Cold winds lost in time,
they take away,
they shatter lifes.

Empty spaces in your body,
they fill it up with ice.
Ice so cold it turns in to stone,
this is what it feels like to be alone.

Cold winds awful but true.
They do what they must,
what they must do to you.

You can't run you can't hide,
sooner or later its you whom they wil find.
There's no turning back no leaving it behind,
as cold winds allways and forever haunt your mind.
Last edited by Chandni on Mon Jan 02, 2006 7:25 pm, edited 4 times in total.
I should not keep on, I'll just creep on creepin'on.




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the last line in the second stanza and the last line in the third stanza (sorry, i didn't know how to grammatically combine those two) are a bit off with the rhythm, but otherwise it was fairly a good piece of writing. it didn't particularly move me, but in some parts the rhythm was definitely interesting, such as:

They do what they must,
what they must do to you.


resourceful, i guess. =]
Carpe Diem.




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Well i changed it a bit..the third stanza i'll see what I can do with the second one
Thnx :)
I should not keep on, I'll just creep on creepin'on.




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I really liked your description of the cold winds and how the ice turns to stone. I really enjoyed this poem. The only thing that bothered me was the 2nd line.

they take away they shatter lifes.


At the very least, I think there should be a semi colon separating those two sentences, but I think it would be even better to made those sentences 2 separate lines to make the 1st stanza three lines.

Very beautiful poem... good job
~ WD
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"All I know, all I'm saying, is that a story finds a storyteller. Not the other way around." ~Neverwas




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I dont want to clog everything up with repeats so i just back up everything Writersdomain said. Good Work!
Trying to survive "sweet sixteen."
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Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.
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