Oath Of Silence

Spoiler

Format: rondeau

line 1 - a (R)(This line is used as the refrain later in the piece.)

line 2 - a

line 3 - b

line 4 - b

line 5 - a

line 6 - c

line 7 - c

line 8 - b

line 9 - R

line 10 - a

line 11 - a

line 12 - b

line 13 - b

line 14 - a

line 15 - R

Oath of Silence

The first words are the hardest
No matter how sincere or earnest.
You could call me a coward,
For silence I have favored
With God as my witness.

My body collects dust,
While my wits begin to rust .
My heart’s securely armored.
The first words are the hardest.

Some may wonder how an artist
Could be so numb with that much practice?
But I am too rational to let myself be hindered
By a heart that has been shattered.
So I give up! It is hopeless
When the first words are the hardest.

I'm not quite sure how to respond to this poem. I can sense there is some meaning to this poem, I just can tell what. And the poem is called oath of silence, but the refrain is the first words are the hardest. I just can't connect it. I've read the poem a few times over now, and I believe I'm beginning to understand it. I believe the poem would be more enjoyable if the message were more clear, but a poem with meaning you have to dig for has its own value. As for grammatical and spelling errors, I don't see any.

Hey Amy! Dogs here with your review today! Really really good piece of poetry! I love the imagery and description and variety of great words you used here. I also really like the totally unique idea and format that you write this in. However, there is a major flaw you have put in with your formatting thingi that you say is "Ra,a,b,b,a,a, a,b,Ra, a,a,b,b,a,Ra. So all the "a" you have in here mean that all those lines rhyme with the original "a" line, which obviously it dosn't lol. Because earnest and witness does not rhyme with dust or rust. So really the rhyming scheme is:

Line 1- a (R)
Line 2- a
Line 3- b
Line 4- b
Line 5- a

Line 6- c
Line 7- c
Line 8- d
Line 9- R

Line 10- a
Line 11- a
Line 12- b
Line 13- b
Line 14- a
Line 15- R

Now correct me if I am wrong but this is what I believe the rhyming scheme is. Apart from that this poem is sooo good and I really love it! Keep up the good work!!!

TuckEr EllsworTh

I love your poem. It shows deep thinking on your part. I think you could enhance it by making it longer and giving even more detail on the silence. It just seemed short and sweet. I was left thinking, wait! That's it? I would love to hear more from you. My favorite lines are:

For silence I have favored

My heart's securely armored.

I can totally relate to these lines.
I loved your poem! Keep on writing!