Have you ever wondered?

Have you ever wondered how is it like to feel like a stranger?
Like a fish out of water
Like a teardropp in a loud laughter
Like love in a heart of a hater!

Have you ever wondered how is it like to feel lost?
Like a dropp in the ocean
Like a needle in a haystack
Lost... that you don't know white from black!
Like walking straight in a destination
When you know there is no way to go back!

Have you ever wondered how is it like to feel so confused?
That you don't know
when you're treated nicely
And when you are abused!
Have you ever felt so much low?
And you don't know what to do or where to go?
When you see all the doors around you are locked and closed!

Have you ever wondered how is it like to be in a non-stop stress?
When you never feel so sure about something you always have to guess!
when you feel like crying out loud
And spit that burden of these hard feelings inside you
However, these feelings you have to keep & suppress
Although, you are in the greatest need for a gentle caress!

Had anyone felt so much pain like this before?
'Cause that's what I really feel... maybe even more!

I don't wanna feel like a stranger
I don't wanna feel lost
I don't wanna feel confused
I don't wanna be in a non-stop stress
I just want to stop this dreadful feeling of loneliness

It is good. I can feel your emotions in the poem

Hi.. Here's to review!

First of all, it was a good poem. I like the way you use many style in writing poem, which make your poem looks professional.

I am so attracted by your first lines in most paragraphs.

Have you ever wondered how is it like to feel...

It shows that you only elaborating on the main idea, which is your feeling of being something.

Like a fish out of water
Like a teardropp in a loud laughter
Like love in a heart of a hater!

I don't wanna feel like a stranger
I don't wanna feel lost
I don't wanna feel confused
I don't wanna be in a non-stop stressI just want to stop this dreadful feeling of loneliness

I like the way you use repetittion in your poem. Keep it up.

I could sense the emotion in your poem. By the last paragraph, you stated your hope. It makes this poem perfect!

There's slight spelling mistakes. Maybe you overlooked.

I suggest you use more style such as hyperbole, metaphore or maybe paradox. It would make your poem more beautiful. I'm just suggesting, though.

Anyway, I liked it very much. Hope I'd helped. Keep on writing!

this is good, but there are some spelling mistakes and a few places that are worded awkwardly. I really like the overall idea of the poem, and the way you make the reader feel your emotions. It's something we can all relate to, feeling out of place.

Have you ever wondered how is it like to feel like a stranger? I think it would flow better if you wrote, Have you ever wondered what it is like... but that's just me, and the way you have it does make it unique to your style of writing.
Like a fish out of water this comparison has been used a lot, it's good, but I think you could be more creative.
Like a teardropp in a loud laughterOnly one P in teardrop, and I think it might be two words. And take out the A before loud.
Like love in a heart of a hater! Good alliteration, I like this line!

Have you ever wondered how is it like to feel lost?
Like a dropp in the oceanAgain, only one P.
Like a needle in a haystack
Lost... that you don't know white from black! this line feels off to me. I don't know how you could fix it, but I don't like how you have it now. Even just taking out the three dots would help.
Like walking straight in a destination
When you know there is no way to go back! the exclamation marks are distracting...

Have you ever wondered how is it like to feel so confused?
That you don't know
when you're treated nicely
And when you are abused! this part is really good, but again a question mark would fit better than an exclamation mark.
Have you ever felt so much low? take out much.
And you don't know what to do or where to go?
When you see all the doors around you are locked and closed! shouldn't it be closed and then locked? because if it's locked than it has to be closed.

Have you ever wondered how is it like to be in a non-stop stress? take out A.
When you never feel so sure about something you always have to guess! take out so.
when you feel like crying out loud
And spit that burden of these hard feelings inside youI like this line.
However, these feelings you have to keep & suppress
Although, you are in the greatest need for a gentle caress!

Had anyone felt so much pain like this before?Has instead of had would fit better.
'Cause that's what I really feel... maybe even more! this is really abrupt, try to add more imagery in here.

I don't wanna feel like a stranger
I don't wanna feel lost
I don't wanna feel confused
I don't wanna be in a non-stop stress
I just want to stop this dreadful feeling of lonelinessGood ending! I actually think you could take out the second to last stanza and just end with this one.

Anyway, good job! I hope my review was helpful. Keep writing!

Hello all,

Just to clarify, I did write this while insanely sleep deprived. So I guess that should explain all of the random spelling grammarical and spelling errors, right? Yes. I now know that it is not good to write while that tired (I'm so smart). Thanks for reading. Keep on writing.


--Maya

Hey Maya!

This is a great poem and you've managed to add some great moments to this. Though I would say, it isn't as perfect as it could be. for example, the third and the fourth stanzas are so similar to each other in their meaning.

MSDavies wrote:Have you ever wondered how is it like to feel lost?
Like a dropp in the ocean
Like a needle in a haystack
Lost... that you don't know white from black!
Like walking straight in a destination
When you know there is no way to go back!

Have you ever wondered how is it like to feel so confused?
That you don't know
when you're treated nicely
And when you are abused!
Have you ever felt so much low?
And you don't know what to do or where to go?
When you see all the doors around you are locked and closed!

I've colour coded the very similar sounding lines above. These type of lines make the poem repetitive and it feels like I'm going around in circles. If you want to make it sound different, but still hide the similarities, try changing your choice of words. The sentiments in these lines are really deep but because of the above mentioned things, they lose their grandeur.

I like the structure of the poem and the somewhat subtle and delicate rhyme you've attached to a few of the lines.

I like the subject in the poem. You've described the feeling of all the uncertainties that life brings. And there are some great use of similes as well.

All in all, this is a great poem and I've greatly enjoyed reading it! Keep the ink flowing!

Murtuza