Death Avenue

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There's a street that's called
The Dead Avenue.
There the traffic never stops,
But lives do.
People pour out their blood,
Could've had a chance,
But the traffic never stops.

A man stumbles out
Of a building, in shame.
He's been laid off
For the Company's gain
He walks into the street
To start away home again.
But the traffic never stops.

A girl is in tears,
Climbing out of a car.
Her heart's been shattered,
Smashed on the ground.
She steps out onto the street.
Her eyes clouded with tears.
But the traffic never stops.

A woman wanders away
From a hospital,
Her old, mad mindunaware
Of the fearsome street.
She wanders in her mind
To a beautiful place.
But the traffic never stops.

The death never stops.




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Wow, really cool idea here. Kind of sad and eerie at the same time. There was a really clear mental picture in my head, and the whole thing was just interesting. I don't have anything to say really, just...interesting....
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver




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Thanks. I think I was trying to touch on the machine of society here....? I was in a depressing mood at the time. Of course, reading Doctor Zhivago probably didn't help anything.




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I like this poem, the way you used a street as a metaphors for Death. It's quite an interesting one.(

He walks into the street
To start away Don't think 'away' fits in here home again.


Again, i really like your poem, but that 'away' seems to interrupt the flow of the Stanza.
“To teach is to learn twice.”
- Joseph Joubert




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This is a very interesting poem. I love the concept and your style. The flow is very good, it almost has a beat to it, which I quite liked. Very well-thought-through. Great work!

Keep writing!
-Greena
I dream by day.




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I made the mistake of having dark music playing in the background while reading this. :P It's interesting to see what you keep coming up with. The only thing I noticed was that it seemed to rhyme in some places, and not in others, and I'm not sure if you meant to do that or not. Other than that, though, this was interesting to read, and I like how it makes you think about society in a certain way. Keep writing, EtCetera!
"The difficulty of literature is not to write, but to write what you mean." -Robert Louis Stevenson
"Write or die trying."
JA hatar pisanje.




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This is really thought provoking... I love the rythm to it because it's like you can't stop reading, in the same way that the traffic can't stop in the poem. This effect could be emphasized with a more consistent rhyming pattern? Other than that I loved it, particualarly the metaphor of the traffic. :)
"Books are the ultimate dumpees: put them down and they'll wait for you forever; pay attention to them and they will always love you back." John Green

"And in that moment, I swear we were infinite." Stephen Chbosky



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