Scars.

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The cool blade slices across the pink flesh.
Crimson liquid leaks through the freshly made mark
on human body.

Chills run up his spine,
all the way to his thin line of a mouth.
It curves in a twisted smile.

He throws back his head with pleasure
letting the pain sink in, making him feel alive.
He looks back down at the permanent mark he's made.

That one's for you... he thought in his head with sick memories.
That's for every word you've called me.
every time you've knocked me down.

and every time I've gotten back up...

by adding more

scars.
"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." ~ Anton Chekhov




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I really enjoyed this poem. I liked the dark, twisted feel it had. a few things though.
The cool blade slices across the pink flesh.
Crimson liquid leaks through the freshly made mark
on human body. I think it should be "On the human body"

He throws back his head with pleasure
letting the pain sink in, making him feel alive.
He looks back down at the permanent mark he's made. I think you should use a word other than mark because you have already used it and you could find a more poetic word.


Other than those things, great job. Great description and language and emotion. Keep writing!




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Wow, I got chills down my back when I read this.
It is a very dark, twisted poem, as the first reviewer says.
And I also agree with the comments he made about your grammar.
Keep up your good work!!!
People are funny.They spend money they don't have,to buy stuff they don't need,to impress people they don't even like.

strawberrieamie




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I absolutely loved how dark and twisted it was. I use dark poetry as a form of letting out all of my hatred and anger, and I wish others would follow in our footsteps, instead of turning to drugs as an aid. This poem, along with many others helps explain how people relieve their anger, in both positive and negative ways. I feel to rid myself of more anger I am more descriptive, just keep that in mind when writing your future poetry.
- Little Foot




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Dude. I absolutely loved it. I love the chill it sent. It was fantastic. I have no corrections, I didn't see where they could be any.

Awesome job, keep it up man.
I look forward to reading more of yours.

Sincerely,
Ciara<3
"Love is a lot like playing the piano, at first you play by the rules, but eventually you begin to play by the heart."

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I like the use of words, it's dark and shows how life can be.
Wo Ai Ni (I Love You) Jessicarlie Love




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I really love how you used structure to emphasize what the poem was saying about the things missing in life that cause people to want to hurt themselves. I thought it was really interesting because every time I re-read it a different part stood out. Only negative is repetition of "mark". Nothing wrong with it, I just think you could use a more striking word "flaw" or "impression". You could even go for a metaphor; "permanent blood ink" or something along those lines?
Other than that though I loved it!
"Books are the ultimate dumpees: put them down and they'll wait for you forever; pay attention to them and they will always love you back." John Green

"And in that moment, I swear we were infinite." Stephen Chbosky




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A well written poem with a dark meaning to it.What I am apprehencive about is that it punishes the body too much and in a grotesque fashion ,so just a suggestion: wish you can modify the poem a bit by infusing a positive bit to it ,like maybe surviving from the ashes



I will call them my people, which were not my people; and her beloved, which was not beloved.
— Romans 9:25