For Someone Special..

Take a look in my mind,
be surprised of what you will find.
Take a step forward,
and walk towards

My thoughts and feelings combined with the truth,
my thoughts and feelings about and for you.

My thoughts dwell in circles and travel inside,
my feelings float on water and reach out for light.
Cause to hide in the darkness with my feelings and thoughts,
is to risk losing the things I have caught.

My feelings "I love you"
My thoughts "Do you love me to ?"
Trapped in guilt these two hide,
too afraid that they just might
come across,
the one they're destined for
the one who will slowly open,
that secret door.

P.S. I'm not sure if I capitalized the letters right or if I put the commas in the right place
I'd be glad if you could help me out here Thnx

First off: "toughts" should be "thoughts"... it made me laugh trying to read it as "toughts".

Chandni13 wrote:Take a look in my mind,
be surprised of what you will find.
Take a step forward,
and walk towards

These first two rhymes are extremely forced.

Chandni13 wrote:my toughts and feelings combined with the truth
my toughts and feelings about and for you.

These two lines seem a little awkward. You go from pretty short, clear cut lines, to these two repeative bulky ones and the transition doesn't really flow properly.

Chandni13 wrote:Trapped in guilt these to hide,

This line is awkwardly worded. I had to go back and read it a second time to figure out what you were saying. "Trapped in guilt to hide these" would probably be clearer, unless that's not what you were trying to say.

Chandni13 wrote:the one who will slightly open,

"Slighty"? Did you mean a different word here? it doesn't make much sense to me as it is.

As for the capitalization, I'm an old-school girl and tend to capatilize the first letter of every line. But I know there are other people that only capitilize the words at the beginning of the sentence. It's up to you where you put them.

And as for the commas... read through the poem and think about where there should be a pause in the reading and stick a comma there.

Well thnx I don't think I will change it cause I don't really feel like I like it the way it cuz it kinda shows my feelings for someone..
I will change the toughts into thoughts and try harder putting the comma's in a good place
Thnx again !
Oh yeah i changed slightly into slowly you were right it doesn't make much sence using slighty

hhahah sorry but I meant Trapped in guilt these two hide sorry I understand your confusion

The poem was really good. But like Duskglimmer said, you changed short, clear cut lines, to these big, long lines and this prevented your poem flowing easily. But i liked the message in the poem.