Who am I Meant to Be

Spoiler

[flash=]Ok, this is my first long poem that I have ever written so...please be nice to me and rate and comment nicely![/flash]

Who am I meant to be in this life;
What am I meant to do?
This life is too confined for me;
And, I'm sure, for you.
I walk around this town so fair;
Confused and still don't really care.
Every time I look around;
I see no walls, just all ground.

Who am I meant to be in this world,
What should I truly do?
I am too confused right now;
And, I'm sure, are you.
Confusion keeps my life from me;
Confusion rules my life, you see.
I turn around and touch the ground;
And still, Who am I meant to be?

Hey there! This is a really insightful piece. Great job if it really is your first one! I like the repeating of the question throughout. I did run into a few rhythm inconsistencies here and there, but maybe I'm just reading it wrong. Anyway, lovely poem! I hope you continue with it

~Jess

Hmmm....identity crises are common these days, and I think your poem captures that nicely, if it was intended to be a song. My only note for you is that your poem wasn't long, it was actually normal in length, at least, in comparison to some I've read on this site. And that isn't a bad thing! Umm...I'd also like to say that you COULD have used more imagery, but the poem is really fine as it is. Happy writing!

I think it the poem is very nice! I believe that you would be a great Phantom Poem writer. I believe that would fit you well because the repetition helps bring forth the depth in your poem.

Hello Maria!

First, Welcome to YWS! =D I hope you are enjoying the website.
As a beginner, and me as a reviewer, I must correct the mistakes so next time, you don't make the mistakes, okay?
I talk like a teacher, I know. o.o

Mistakes: (Corrections in Red Markings.)

MariaRowlands wrote:Who am I meant to be in this life;?
What am I meant to do?
This life is too confined for me;
And, I'm sure, for youit is for you too.
I walk around this town so fair;
Confused and I still don't really care.
Every time I look around;
I see no walls, just all ground.

This stanza was good. Especially the last line. Really true.

MariaRowlands wrote:Who am I meant to be in this world,?
What should I truly do?
I am too confused right now;
And, I'm sure, are youyou are too.
Confusion keeps my life from me;.
Confusion rules my life, you see.
I turn around and touch the ground;
And still, Who am I meant to be?

The poem was amazing!
Only one thing. I found BOTH stanzas with the same meaning. You should have given one of them a different meaning. :3

Overall: Keep it up! I like it! I'll give this an 8/10. xD

Keep Writing~!

Cheers,
Cookie <3

It's really good my little Wiccan, I only have one immediate concern. All of it rymes, except the first two lines. Then I can't find a pattern. So it's all over the place. But ontherwise good in that department. Then Grammer wise, I see where Choco Cookie was coming from, but it's really good as it is. I see your point, but I was kinda in and out. But when it comes from the heart, nothing needs to be perfect. Glad I could help.

THat is becaus eit is meant to be confusing and it implies the imression of being lost.