A Cloudy Night

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I look up to the clouds,
The suns embers begin to die.
I see their gentle, wispy grey.
Soft swirls of silver sing in the sky.

I look up high above,
And think about what they said.
About the lost souls,
The dwelling of the dead.

I look up to the skies,
So calm and gentle and serene.
In the grey hides great colour,
Vibrant blues and plush greens.

But then I must look down,
And pull my head from the night.
I look at the world around me -
No shimmering silvers or white.

I have a final glance,
And see that simple cloud,
In a world of flourished brightness..
A wispy grey stands proud.
Last edited by AngusMacdonald on Fri Nov 18, 2011 8:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
We are the Music-makers. And we are the dreamers of dreams.




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Nice. Its great how you value the simplicity of a cloud so much and are able to express that love.
I look up high above,
And think about what they said.
About the lost souls,
The dwelling of the dead.

This stanza is confusing and i don't really get what you're saying.

A gentle, wispy grey stands proud.

Your flow is a bit off hear. It would sound better if it was "A wispy grey stands proud."
Anyway this was very good and I look forward to more from you.




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Rhyming words are not use frequently rest of all is superb.




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AngusMacdonald wrote:I look up to the clouds,
The suns embers begin to die.
I see their gentle, wispy grey.
Soft swirls of silver sing in the sky.

I look up high above,
And think about what they said.
About the lost souls,
The dwelling of the dead.


I look up to the skies,
So calm and gentle and serene.
In the grey hides great colour,
Vibrant blues and plush greens.


But then I must look down,
And pull my head from the night.
I look at the world around me -
No shimmering silvers or white.

I have a final glance,
And see that simple cloud,
In a world of flourished brightness..
A gentle, wispy grey stands proud.


The underlined bits are my favorite. I think you did a really nice job with this. It's wonderfully written. I'm surprised that you could get all this from a little cloud! Nice job!
"You can be a king or a street-sweeper, but everybody dances with the grim reaper." -Robert Harris



We are dreamers, you and I.
— Leya