Writer's Nightmare

Uncharted thoughts swirl in my head
While blank pages stare me down.

My pen takes a beating
As I vent my anger on its cap
Though my eraser look on by the sidelines
Happy it won’t be used today.

Crossed out words and ink smears
Mark my utter frustrations.

Why won’t the words just come out?

The silence is too overbearing for my thoughts
As I scan the room for something inspirational.

Tap goes my foot
Click goes the pen
I start wasting my time all over again
Maybe I’ll try again tomorrow…

OH MY GOD That is a really good poet god I can't write poetry like that even when I try they came out all wrong I'll show you a poetry I wrote for my nan after she passed I was only like 5 when she died and wrote this at the age of 8

oh thank you I generally don't write poems, but I had some writers block for my usual project so I wrote this XD

Hi, I'll be a reviewer for today; my name is Writteninstone or Wisp as some like to call me -- however today I will be critiquing this particular piece of yours and my first impression was ;
This poem has forboding written all over it; what I mean is that as soon as I saw the poem itself I thought to myself that there would be no smooth flow and rhythm happening. I know this is harsh, but if you don't write poetry all the time then I understand the fact that it wouldn't be as noticeable to a first-timer or as a never-full-time-rhymer.

"Uncharted thoughts swirl in my head..." this first line is a tad confusing to me, considering that I don't understand what you mean by uncharted (This could be because I am french...) but uncharted thoughts ... perhaps "Meaningless thoughts" or something other than uncharted ;; uncharted usually means unmapped or surveyed ;; so what you're saying in that sentence is : "Unmapped thoughts swirl in my head..." which is all honesty sounds pretty weird.

(Note - ignore all the little ; < things... I seem to do that alot nowadays.)

I'm getting the feeling that you didn't want rhyming verses as in the ABAC format or even the ABCA format, so that's going alright so far. Now for this next sentence I present : "Though my eraser look on by the sidelines..."
I'm going to correct that for you : "Though my eraser looks on from the sidelines..." I know it looks longer but that is the grammatically correct way to deal with that phrase.

Ok, I'm not liking the two last verses of the second stanza, "Though my eraser looks on from the sidelines, happy it won't be used today..." I believe you could change that, it doesn't need to be there considering your talking about your pen, if you moved up the next two lines that are below : "Crossed out words and ink smears, mark my utter frustration..."

You would get something like this : "My pen takes a beating, as I vent my ager on it's cap, crossed out words and ink smears mark my utter frustration..." See, when your in a stanza you have to stick with the same idea that you brought in on the first line of said stanza.

Now you could start a completely new stanza with something about a pencil and it's eraser, not being used but that's entiely up to you ;; I would suggest not adding the "Though my eraser looks on from the sidelines, happy it won't be used today..." at all. So if you want to change that then good for you, if not well it's entirely your poem - I'm just here to help .

I'm also not liking this whole set up of your poem , your poem is structured oddly; two lines, four lines, two lines, one line, two lines, four lines... A normal poem would usually stick to one structure as in : two lines, one line, two lines, one line ... and so on ;; or as most poets do they would stick with a simple four line structure throughout the entire poem. I would suggest fixing that to make it flow easier.

I think the two last lines before the rhyme scheme comes in should be changed; they don't really bring anything to the poem. And then there's the last stanza of this entire poem ;; First of all - why did you decide to change from a non-rhyme to a sudden stanza that rhymes? Not good, it doesn't exactly help the poem in my opinion but that might be me if other poets critique this work. I'm just one of thousands. I think that the shortening of your lines was unecessary, if you had made them longer to go along with the rest of your poem it would have been better, as well as the fact that it suddenly rhymes which buggs the heck out of me because I was getting used to non-rhyming scheme.

Overall;; This poem needs alot of work but it has potential, if you worked harder and practiced at writting poems I'm sure you'd be great. Take my suggestions and do with them what you will, but if you ever post some more poetry come and find me ;; I'll be sure to take a look .


Write on,
Writteninstone.

I appreciate when people are honest. So thank you for the tips, but I really have no interest in continuing writing poetry, or trying to fix this one. Thanks for your time though.

I am sure we can all relate to this. Nice use of literary devices (especially personification). I am awful with grammar, so I won't be much help there. I think you could show your frustration a little more, but overall I got it. Well written, interesting. Its a very solid piece. A little more detail and depth could not hurt it either. Still, it was generally very good. Hm, what else is there to say...? I like your title. Its very accurately named.