I liked the tone, kind of unfeeling but resentful and sad at the same time ( I hope that's how you wanted it to feel, because that's the way it does). Great job on grammar and nitpicky stuff.
I think you could have at least artfully hinted at who "you" is or what the secret is, or maybe why you feel the way you do in the poem. Sometimes, mystery is a great thing, but in this case, I think there is a bit too much of it. It would be very hard to understand unless we knew what you yourself are actually thinking. The readers gets left confused. Also, the ending complements the beginning well:
Well then I hope Hell remembers
To call me to its gates
I’ll softly decline: I’m the master of my own fate
However, especially the last two lines leave the reader a bit befuzzled. You can tell you're trying to say something, we're just not sure exactly what.
Otherwise, great poem; I'd love to see more!
