Drained

But I was feeling all emotional, and isn't that the best time to be writing poetry?


They have drained me.
They take and take.
And laugh and laugh.
And I give and give
For I have no choice.
But I have nothing left.
Why, oh why, can’t I have
A little bit left?
Just enough to keep me going.
But. No. It’s gone. And with it;
All my love for everything I did,
All I cared for.
Oh, why, oh why did they take it?
Why did they leave me.
Here.
To live. With nothing!
Not even the hope to smile.
Because smiles don’t come easily,
To girls who are haunted
By what they wish to escape, each minute
Each hour…
And not a moment of peace.
Oh why, oh why did they take it all?

hello Stela ,
My name is Lorna! And I like your writing style ;3

But I was feeling all emotional, and isn't that the best time to be writing poetry?

I agree! ^^ When Your feeling any emotion at all and it's really overpowering all of your other emotions THAT is the best time to start writing an AWESOME poem like this one ;3

They have drained me.
They take and take.
And laugh and laugh.
And I give and give
For I have no choice.
But I have nothing left.

^^ This is a great way to start this poem! The repetitive words give a powerful impact on the way the reader reads ...

Why, oh why, can’t I have
A little bit left?

Rhetorical questions are always a very powerful writing tool ! ;3

Just enough to keep me going.
But. No. It’s gone. And with it;
All my love for everything I did,
All I cared for.

But when read up to this bit I get confused?! The writing pattern changes .... if this is on purpose then that's fine but if not then maybe you should try to stick to the same pattern ...

And not a moment of peace.
Oh why, oh why did they take it all?

^^ Hee Hee Love the ending! Another rhetorical question!

Hope this helps!!! ;3

Lorna
xxx

Hey There -

When the heart is full, of course that is the best time to write! I'm glad you did, I rather enjoyed this one.
The use of repitition is interesting; I personally wouln't have used it - I like a lot of rhythm in my works, but if it works for you, than it works. The simplicity is nice - you prove that poetry does not require a bunch of fancy words and 'floetry' to succeed in conveying a feeling.
You sound frustrated, and, of couse put out, but I'd like to see some originality. "Drained" has got an original layout, but I'd like some imagery. What can you compare your feeling to? Are you just put out? Can you hint on what happened? Is it a personal conflict? Was this preventable? ...As a reader I'm curious.

I liked this bit - thought it was nice. The punctuation does a lot to it.
Just enough to keep me going.
But. No. It’s gone. And with it;
All my love for everything I did,
All I cared for.

This was a great start to something wonderful, and I look forward to seeing good work from you, Stelagineva.

Best Regards -
IamHathor22