The Trio of Tribulations

Morning/Mourning
As I swallow the morning,
Oh, so bright.
People are mourning,
For the safety of the night.

They are exposed by the sun,
From the light they then run.
Out of slumber,
Upon an early number.
And upon our effervescent rise,
Another life lives;
Another life dies.


Battlecry
Have I been seeded?
Am I a simple dough that sin has kneeded?
Have I lived a blessed lie?
Am I destined to live or die?
Many men cry,
For the end is nigh.
But let that be my battlecry!


Transfer to the Sun
Terra firma has lost its grip.
The horizon's rays,
Against my skin, they nip.
With blazing stares blindness lingers.
These rays are simply extended fingers.

I thought that all three were absolutely amazing, and there's nothing I would improve.
Granted that's just my opinion, but..
Oh well. It's an opinion, it's just that, so keep up writing you're amazing!

Sincerely,
Ciara<3

Flawless. Absolutely nothing wrong with these three poems. In fact, they flow together almost in a trilogy. Again, flawless. This is absolutely astonishing. And I knew this was apparent from the moment I read the first two lines. This is utter perfection. Congratulations. You have reduced a teenage boy to tears.

Morning/Mourning < love the title. very clever ^_^
As I swallow the morning,
Oh, so bright. < although you may have meant it to be like this, I feel the line is a little too short, so that it throws off the rhythm
People are mourning,
For the safety of the night.

They are exposed by the sun,
From the light they then run. < This is a bit of a desperate rhyme. Try something more creative?
Out of slumber,
Upon an early number.
And upon our effervescent rise,
Another life lives;
Another life dies. < Because it rhymes, I love how this sounds, and how it fits into the poem.

Battlecry
Have I been seeded?
Am I a simple dough that sin has kneeded? < Love this line, but the one right before it totally doesn't fit
Have I lived a blessed lie?
Am I destined to live or die?
Many men cry,
For the end is nigh. < Maybe work on the word choice here and in the line above? It's a little plain.
But let that be my battlecry! < Using words ending in 'cry' twice sounds a little funny

Transfer to the Sun
Terra firma has lost its grip.
The horizon's rays,
Against my skin, they nip.
With blazing stares blindness lingers.
These rays are simply extended fingers. < I rawr.

I feel like I was a little harsh and I feel bad, but I wanted to have some constructive critism! Don't be afraid to do the same to my works, also.

Overall, these poems were great - I love the ideas and the imagery you put into them. They radiate emotion, too!

-Dai