Change

Gone, are those weak thoughts.
Returned, has that fire within me.
Free, am I from those heavy rocks.
Pointless, has been my stupidity.

Up, is where I’ll be aiming.
Down, I will never creep.
Faith, will I be Keeping.

Change, is what I seek.

murtuza wrote:Gone, are those weak thoughts.
Returned, has that fire within me.
Free, am I from those heavy rocks.
Pointless, has been my stupidity.

Up, is where I’ll be aiming.
Down, I will never creep.
Faith, will I be Keeping.

Change, is what I seek.

Alright, first off I loved this poem! It was short, simple and quite memorable! The flow was great and everything was just brilliantly laid out.

Please continue! And keep writing!

~KJR~

awesome:D!
it has a revolutionary, rebillon feeling too it, without getting excessively dramatic.
you managed to make it intence and compulsive in very few words.
great:D!

Fantastic! My kind of poem. I feel like I should fill up this space to get points or whatever but I can't really comment much on something like this. I would pick a favorite line...but it's so short, I like the whole thing. Great job!

Haai murtuza!! *hugs*
Loved your poem =) I couldn't find any nitpicks so congratulations on that!! =)
A short and strong poem. Great work..as always XD
This wasn't very helpful but that was really all I had to say XD
Keep writing!
-qaralynn-

Murtuza, these lines, are very simple yet very powerful. My kind of poetry. Its uplifting. Its sensible. It portrays a person who had lost his valour and hope and was surrounded in doubts and weak thoughts. But now he has found it all again and he feels liberated just by rediscovering hope and courage. He admits his foolishness had been un understandable. And now, he is motivated to propel, to excel and he will not be backing down. And this he keeps as his faith and belief. Because its change that he seeks.

True words. The simplicity is what has blown my mind. The verses look so naturally put. Without the artificial decoration of words. No redundancy. The rhythm and rhyme not extraordinary but indeed flawless. Yet its very strong because the thought put in it is very powerful. GoodLuck!

Ah, here is yet another good poem by you my friend. I enjoyed this short little poem. It is simple, and well written, with a strong positive message.

Change, is what I seek

To me, this is the most profound part of this poem, and it is rightfully so, because the message genuinely leads up to this. It makes me think of America today, and Libya, and every other place in the world which desperately needs change, and is changing.

That part is the crescendo in a rising poem, both in faith and happiness.

Good Job,
dante93