An Almost Love Story

For two years they were like
Oreos and milk.

Now they are more like
Coke and Pepsi.

Spoiler

This is one of the poems I did during March's NaPoWriMo. Originally the whole story was told in the middle, but it wasn't very poetic. So I cut this down to just the first and last lines. I like it a lot more now.

Hey Blue. This was soo short, but soo cute! I'm not kidding, I just...love this. I know, it's only four lines, but they're four lines of epicness. Maybe this isn't even a poem, but I think in a way that's like looking at something and saying that it almost isn't art. It is what you want it to be. And I like it.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver

Hey there Blue!

This, I have to say, got me thinking! And when I read it again I was like "Oh!" *palm/face*

Yeah. So I see the 'two' as once upon a time being two people who completed each other- the perfect match/fit- they formed one. Because for most people, you can't have Oreos without milk so they were two beings who existed together like two pieces of a jigsaw pizzle, or like an enzyme's active site and its substrate ( okay, I'm going into biology here...).

And then, since you said that these four lines are from the beginning and the end, I feel as though I know the whole story and that's fantastic. I see that at the end, they're two seperate beings- contradictory and in competition, just like Pepsi and Coke (Coke is so much better that Pepsi by the way!).

I really like what you've done here, and I'd like to have a look at the NaPo version. I think your message in these four lines was very powerful and it shows that length doesn't matter in poetry but that even the small - yet well chosen - amount of words can deliver a great lot to readers.

I have nothing to add, so to some up: this was a really good poem and its length helps keep the message in the reader's mind. That shows its power. So well done for this!

Keep writing!

Peace,

- Mikko.