Do You See What You've Done?

Do you see what you've done?
The pain you've caused her,
the part of her that's forever damaged,
all because you didn't care.

She handed you her heart.
She trusted you completely.
Yet you pretend she meant nothing,
that she was just another girl.

Why did you lead her on?
Why would you tell her she's beautiful,
or that you love her,
if it was all just a lie?

She overlooked your flaws,
cared about you more than you'll ever know.
But you barely remember anything about her
Her face brings only vague memories.

You can lie awake and think
that you've done nothing wrong,
but remember you've hurt her,
and because of you, she's forever changed.

Spoiler

Poetry is not my forte, so any suggestions would be much appreciated. Seriously, rip it apart- I won't be offended. I am here to learn

I enjoyed this poem. I found it quite well written. The poem doesn't have much flow to it because of the punctuation, but it still sounds pretty good. My favorite lines are: "But you barely remember anything about her Her face only brings vague memories." (I believe that there should be a comma in there though.) and "She handed you her heart". Overall, very well written poem and I really enjoyed it.

Hey Briggs! Isha here to review, and since you said to rip it apart, I will. I jut can't resist an invitation to be harsh.

Okay, so first thing's first:

The good thing about this poem is the point of view. The narrator isn't the girl who was hurt, it's somebody speaking out for her, which automatically opens up a whole range of things you could do with this. There are so many thugs that you could say, so many different things that you could portray and emotions that you could explain through the eyes of somebody who is only experiencing them through the magic of empathy.

The thing that got me:

You didn't really do this. You pretty much just stated that he hurt her over and over again. She trusted him, she loved him, he hurt her, he used her, he should be ashamed of himself. Okay, yeah, we get that. We got that in around the first stanza, so why repeat it? Rather than focus on what happened, focus on the emotion of the piece. Now you're probably thinking, "hold up there, Isha- I think I made the emotion behind the piece pretty obvious. I already told you how she fee-" and that's where I cut you off and say:

Exactly. You told us how this girl feels. You told us that this guy just doesn't care about how she feels. You told us that even though he should feel guilt-ridden, he doesn't. You never used that beautiful thing called imagery to show us how she feels. Now I'm not asking you to write a long description of her tears or a wet pillow or gallons of ice-cream-- I mean use a little bit of that simile-metaphor-comparison-creativity juice that we poets love so much. Just make sure that you're using things that came from you and not somebody else. In the words of the wise: If you're used to reading it in print, avoid using it in your piece. Especially in poetry.

Another thing that I wanted to suggest was to try and portray some of the narrator's emotion. Obviously, this person is probably angry at this guy, so find a unique, interesting way to show us this. 

You had some interesting points, and then a few cliche lines such as 'she handed you her heart.' Obviously, that's basically what happens in a situation like this, but is there another way that you could portray this? Without the mention or implication of somebody taking out their heart and resting it in the palm of another? These lines are good to begin building a structure- use what you have now to build it into something with tangible feeling and more showing than telling.

Overall, not bad since you stated that poetry isn't your strong suite.

Keep writing,
~~Ish.

I'd have to agree with Ish. She pretty much summed everything all up. I'd like to say the reason your poem didn't have much flow is because there was a lack of a rhyme scheme, and meter. But there is nothing wrong with a poem that doesn't have much of these! : D keep writing!