Celestian.

4 posts
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Another little poem. The night sky is clear, and the moon is bright. Inspiration came and voila. I'll write some short stories and possibly release a chapter of a novel I have planned soon.

Sometimes, I look up into the sky in wonder,
on those clear, cloudless winter nights.
And I see stories and tales that the stars have seen.
The watchful eyes of the universe.
And as I gaze my mind wanders among them,
and sometimes I pick one, just one.
Why one? You ask? Truthfully, I don't know.
But I try to conclude, why that star.
Why do I gaze at it, and am I watched in return?

Will they remember my story?
Or yours?
The most wondrous sight I've ever seen is the sight of the sun in the sky.We are some of the lucky few who are allowed to exist; does that not make it all worth it?

a chance to understand?




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Gender Female
Points 1145
Reviews 104
First, I'd like to say that I love the title. It really drew me in, I think because it sounds so fantastical. Second, I'd like to say that you really summed up the way I feel sometimes. And I think everybody feels that way, just taking it all in and wondering why things are the way they are. My favorite line was the one about how you wonder if anybody will ever remember your story. I always wonder that. LIke, will my life make a difference, will my name be known? That kind of stuff. If I have any complaints, I think you could have been more... poetic about. Metapahors, similes, alliteration... They're what separate poems from reflective writing. I don't really know any other way to explain it. I'm by no means an expert with poetry; my stuff isn't even that good. But I really think some figurative language could spice it up. Anyway, good job and keep writing. I look forward to reading more.
"It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known..." A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens.




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Gender Male
Points 818
Reviews 52
Hi. Great title to go with a great poem. It was simple and elaborated on a thought that nearly everyone has.

Sometimes, I look up into the sky in wonder,
on those clear, cloudless winter nights.
And I see stories and tales that the stars have seen.
The watchful eyes of the universe. Personification! Good touch.First four lines are fantastic.
And as I gaze my mind wanders among them,
and sometimes I pick one, just one.
Why one? You ask? Truthfully, I don't know.
But I try to conclude, why that star.
Why do I gaze at it, and am I watched in return? Great line.

Will they remember my story?
Or yours? I think it should end with "And will I remember theirs?"


Truly wonderful poem. Keep writing.




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Gender genderfluid
Points 88
Reviews 134
The title is rockin', for one. It really draws the reader in, almost like the lead to a story. Anyway, I love how you make it seem as though the stars are beings. The last line, "Or yours?", gave me the feeling that the beings in the stars, if they do exist, were watching over me, and that they knew my story. I think it was an amazing piece of writing and to be honest, there really isn't anything I can see that I would change. So great piece, and keep writing!



I sleep with reckless abandon!
— Link Neal