The King

Hello again:D
Another poem, eh? Great:D
Here come the nitpicks, then:

soldier's

- no apostrophe, just "soldiers".

See how the king sneers,
At every battle lost
And jeers,
At every life it cost?

- I love this bit. Great. Though, instead of

And jeers,

- I would put "And how he jeers". MIght flow nicer.

I loved the ending, too.
Overall, I really liked this poem. Very deep meaning, on how the king rules all the people, and doesn't really value what needs to be valued.
Keep writing,
polly xx

I really liked this poem. I have no complaints at all. I loved the language, the thoughts and the emotions coming throught the words. Thanks very much for sharing this piece. Keep writing.

Okay.

First of all, I like the fact that you give us two different images of the king. Yes, he's a jerk - he thinks everyone is beneath him, doesn't care about his people, etc - but apparently he loved the queen very much since he killed himself upon her death, which can be seen as kind of a redeeming quality. However, I'm not sure you tie the more romantic image into the poem very well. The people still rejoice at the king's death, saying they had no other choice, etc. Also, more imagery and figurative language! And there were a few places I found confusing - what is meant by "shy haste?" Or a "complexed tone?" "Complexed" isn't even a word. So I think you need to figure out what you really mean here and reword it accordingly.

I like the message, though, and again, I love that the king has multiple dimensions.

~Blue