Burn Myself.

3 posts
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Gender Female
Points 1098
Reviews 64
I pick a lighter,
Plain or not,
I pick a lighter,
I pick it up.

I've found an alternative,
To the razor blade,
Something that doesn't,
Break the promise,
I made.

Not really painful,
Not at all,
I flick it off,
Then back on.

Lowering it,
The lighter,
The glory of the flame,
Running across my skin,
As I once again,
Burn Myself.
I Know I Can Wish Upon A Star But My Past Is My Past, And That Includes Last Night And Yesterday.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 2952
Reviews 136
This piece has the potential to be really powerful. I liked it, but I think your rhyming scheme is a hindrance more than a help. The first stanza especially has a sins-song quality that doesn't fit the tone. I would try allowing yourself more freedom for word choice.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 818
Reviews 52
This poem, with a little work, could be a very confronting, powerful piece. The first stanza is, in my opinion, not benefited by the repetition of the line "I pick a lighter". If you could replace the third line with something else then it would flow more. Also, you refer to a promise but do not elaborate or hint at what it could be about. I would have liked a subtle line that might shed some light on the promise.
I really enjoyed this piece and I do believe it has great potential. Keep writing.



He looks like a turtle who's been through the Vietnam war.
— SirenCymbaline the Kiwi