Listen and Ignore

Wade through swamps of your own creation
Then wonder why they're there
Make your claim, your declaration
Pretend like somehow you care

Listen to all the sounds you've made
Bombs and guns and screams
Destroy what's left, watch them fade
The wishes, the prayers, the dreams

You hear their cries, their hopes, their pleas
But to the fields you will not go
Guns you will not fire to bring them to their knees
But you dine in gold as they fall below

Hold the key to peace
Hold the key to war
Neither will you begin nor cease
But you peer inside each door
Cower in your house of gold
As you listen and ignore
Watch as it all unfolds
Hide as they knock down your door

Wow, this is pretty cool. You have a great feel throughout the whole poem. I love it. Your rhythm isn't very smooth, but if you did it to match the uneveness of a world falling apart than it's good. You have no punctuation, so I can't review that part of it, and I didn't see any grammar or spelling mistakes. So, I must say this is very good. Hopefully someone better will come through and give you a more thourough review, since I don't have much to say. Anyway, good job.

Okay. This poem has rhythm and rhyme in the first stanza - which is normally something I enforce if it doesn't break off into freeverse halfway through at a clean kind of break. I'm not sure about splitting the last stanza into two, since it seems to like where it is - make your own decision on that.

But here we go... my review.

First stanza - I like the first line. It's awesome, to be frank. An awesome line at the start of an awesome poem... but what's this? The second line has a different rhythm. That's okay, though, because the third line has the first line's rhythm! Then the fourth line... is just out there. It's seriously just out there and if you could edit it to match the rhythm of the second line, that would be epic. As for the words, I kind of feel like you just wanted to rhyme "there... care", because "creation... declaration" feels much more natural to the human tongue. See if you can find a different word that rhymes with "there" (pear, pair, scare, lair, beware, forswear, prepare, and so many more) and build the line around it if you want it to rhyme.

Second stanza - Oh me oh my, you're just starting your stanzas awesomely today, are you? Well, I like the first three lines, but again, the last line sounds off. Maybe "The wishes, prayers and dreams" to make it fit slightly better.

Third stanza - oh. This has so much potential for awesomeness; somehow it reminds me of Greek mythology in the last line - don't ask me how, it just does. The words, though, and the rhythm, are a little funky. The first line is pretty good, and the second line I see no problem with, but the third line... It feels horridly extended for little reason but to rhyme with "pleas", and even if your rhythm was funky on purpose, this still doesn't sound right. It doesn't match the rhythm in any earlier line. The text-length of a line has nothing to do with its rhythm; otherwise it would match up well with the first line in this stanza. I'm insanely tired right now, though, so the best thing I can come up with for a kind-of edit would be "Guns you will not fire, that disease" or something the like. The last line really does remind me of Greek mythos, but I'm not sure about beginning it with "But", since you started the second line with the same word. It sounds better - even more rhythmic - if you take out the "but".

Woo, fourth stanza! - Okay, these first two lines sound a little weird. Maybe add adjectives to satisfy the rhythm? "Hold the key to simple peace/Hold the key to bloody war" or something like that? (Maybe "arrogant war"?) I had this edit in mind for the third line as well, but the longer I looked over it, the more Shakespearean it felt, and not a lot of people tend to read poetry with Shakespearean metaphors and grammatical methods in mind, so I scrapped it, but the third line sounds a little awkward. In the seventh line, maybe "watching" instead of "watch" - it means the same thing, of course. And in the eighth line... I do not like that your ended this poem with "door". Just being frank here. I think there could be some other word left resonating in the reader's head, and it almost looks like you were running out of lines to pluck out of your head, just because the first half of this stanza ended with "door". It looks especially redundant when the reader looks four lines up and sees the same rhyme. Like I said, I am insanely, unrealistically tired since I haven't had my coffee yet, but surely there's something you could do with that! Think up a few variant lines and see how the stanza reads out with each one.

All in all, nice. You had some power in parts that might not have needed power and some weakness in parts that were calling out for better words, but even it out and it looks just fine. ^^