In 207.5 Words

Wrote this last night because I was bored and need more practice in poetry. Trying something new . . . Anyway, review please! Hope you enjoy!

Hi! Btw, Jemo here, hey there. Well, to be honest, I didn't get what you were trying to come up with this poem. The idea is too vast to grasp (or is it just me? Lol). What has drawn me to read this was the title. I say it's cool. But when I read your piece, I almost forgot its coolness. Since you said that you are still practicing your poetry skills, it's not that bad though. You have the words, I mean, I can see that you have a lot of creative things in your mind writing this poem. Yet, it didn't seem to fit a major thought. You used terms that were so general and abstract. Try to describe each of them, in a smooth way, let it flow like a calm river.

Basically, this piece is about resentment, as I see it. And honestly, I don't like sad poems. But that doesn't mean your work isn't good. You can still improve it! I hope to make sense with all the things I said. Lol Anyways, keep writing! You are good and I see that!

Hi there!
The title drew me in also, and as I read I wondered how you could have .5 of a word- then the ending came and I smiled. That was well done.
As for the rest of the poem, the tone was good and I could feel the rawness of it.

Happy endings

. . .

Sad endings

. . .

Never endings

. . .

No endings?

-This part was my favourite, and the '...' in between all of the 'endings' was a nice touch.

Spelling and grammar seems to be all good, by the way.
The only thing I wasn't entirely fond of was this stanza:

The feeling of wonder lives on, but come on . . .
What IS NEW to talk about?

-I felt that this was almost... disjointed? I think it's the 'but come on' that I'm not thrilled about,

Anyway, overall I liked the message you were trying to get across and I think it was written well.
Hope I helped, and happy writing!
-Briggsy

I was also drawn in by the title, and I think the idea is a good one. The one thing I don't like about this poem is the repetitiveness of the last three lines. They were saying the same thing over and over and over again. It got a little annoying. Overall though, this was a fun poem to read, and I'm very glad you wrote it. Thanks!