Calling For Mum

I turn to no one, screaming
To the skies;
I'm dreaming.
Wake me up?
Wake me up?

Wake me up?


Don't dare.

Higher Power; Dear Lord,
Heal the pain you could have cured.
Give me back my Mum!
Or are you proud
That I'm not numb?

I know how to scare off monsters;

My Mum didn't.

Mummy didn't:

Calm your baby
when she screams;
And when
You sing,
Don't make
Her dream.


Baby knows
Of those bad things.


Gently rock your baby daughter;

And
As you mutter,
Sing,
Or stutter,
Don't just walk away...

It’s dark, now.
Sleep tight, now.
I'll close the door,
And...

Baby cries.

Don’t be afraid, because
If I shut the door,
Those bad things
Won’t be on your side anymore.

Baby cries.

What is this red and sobbing?

Baby screams, and lapses fright; but Mum just rolls her eyes,
To the skies;
"Oh, to God's delight," is all I think to cry out,
Night after
Night after
Night.

I can’t breathe, baby.
Stop screaming for me.

I can’t breathe, baby.
Breathe for me.

Spoiler

Is this kind of blasphemous? Or... whiny? I'm really sorry, if it is. Especially if you think that this is blasphemous - I'll remove it right away. Please judge this; I need reviews xD!
This took me ages. And it's still not even that good. :O But it came from the heart and I wrote about what I really kind of needed to... Thank you!

My, this is a haunting piece. I especially love the last line. "Breath for me." I especially loe how it seems to go back in time from the start of the poem to the end. This may or may not be intentional, but it's a cool effect.

If i had to change one thing though, I woud suggest changing
"Dear,
Lord,
Higher Power;"

to
"Dear, Lord,
Higher Power;"

I just think it looks slightly better. You have a neat sense of rythem though.

Um, wow. This is fantastic. Honestly, I don't really have any critique. I really wish I could write half this good! Please keep writing stuff like this, and you'll have a loyal reader forever. c:

Well, for starters, this is really good. I liked it a lot, although it was a little confusing to me. I didn't really get what was going on in some parts, but that's probably just me.

I turn to no one, screaming
To the skies;
I'm dreaming.
Wake me up?
Wake me up?

Wake me up?

I really like this stanza, it's a good way to open your poem with.

And when
You sing,
Don't make
Her dream.

I find this really choppy, it seems to break the flow and rhythm of the poem. I think it's because you break it up. Maybe it would sound better it you went like;

'When you sing,
Don't make her dream,

Maybe not, but that's just my opinion. Also I don't really like 'and' starting things off, it's really not needed to begin something.

And
As you mutter,
Sing,
Or stutter,
Don't just walk away...

I like this part as well, I just don't think you need the 'And', I think it would be better off without it. Personally, but that's my opinion again.

What is this red and sobbing?

This line confused me. What does it mean?

Night after
Night after
Night.

I really liked this part of the stanza. It just works really well here.

I can’t breathe, baby.
Breathe for me.

I really liked this part as well, and I think it's a good way to end it.

~Tayla