happy thursday

Perfect. Spur of the moment and turn of the century,
The wheels grind on and the shit, it churns out.
Everyone, cheer in the New Year,
Let’s make all the same mistakes again.
It’s just a downhill descent from here in a car with no brakes,
And the power drunk driver has locked us in.

Maybe.
Maybe one day I’ll understand
How all of this affected me,
And how no good could come from it.
I grow older and my vision,
It grows smaller.
Blessed are the stoned and all the sights that they’ve seen.

Seven.
Seven days.
Seven days and I will become the beast that they’ve seen.
And inside me.
Well that’s an entire story all together.
Maturity and anxiety reside restlessly inside me,
Their puppet strings creeping through my veins
With a parasitic ease of cancerous charm.
Confusion of solitude stained writing
Becomes a mere riddle behind my eyes,
And I will write until I may write no more.

Perfect.
A perfect monologue
That will drive me away.
One day I’ll be living far away,
In the big scary city,
And I won’t be there to count on.
What on earth will you do?

And what if I was covered in gasoline?
And you strayed too close with your loose sparks.
Would you take the blame for me?
Or just let me burn?

You ain’t seen the dark side yet girl,
You’ve got a long way to go.

I think this is really good. It's true that you do use a lot of abstract ideas, but I think you balance them nicely with imagery and metaphor, so good job there. I only have a few complaints:

In the big scary city,

I feel like "scary" doesn't fit the voice of this poem. I'm not entirely sure what word would work, but "scary" isn't it.

You ain’t seen the dark side yet girl,

This line I feel does not fit the voice of the poem at all. The "ain't" and the way you use "girl" just do. Not. Fit. If that's how you talk normally, fine - you can write poems in that voice, but in that case the entire poem needs to be written in that voice. This poem is not at all in that voice...except for that line. So, that should be rewritten to match the rest.

Other than that, though, this was good. I really liked it.

~Blue

Wow I really loved this piece! It was abstract but to me made total sense. I loved the bit about drenching yourself in gasoline and lighting a spark, it created the perfect amount of imagery. There was nothing that I didn't like about this, so the only thing I can tell you is great job! This poem seemed to come from the heart but it wasn't one of those weak sappy poem that are good but sometimes they get a bit depressing. This poem that you wrote had the perfect tone and wording that definitely let you know that the narrator wasn't going to stand for any shit and that shit was about to happen. Thanks for posting, awesome, awesome job!
Peace,
Snickerdooly

P.S you left me dying for more!