So tired

This is my worst poem I've ever done. I forfeit the concrete images for the sake of rhythm? whatever, I just did it with fun.

Tired, tired, and tired
when will I won't get tired?
my feathered-friend never gets tired
of flying, to people's business.
even the bees don't get tired
of hissing, in their beehive's nest.
the milk fish never gets tired
of swimming in the sea--
night and day.
Tired, tired, and tired
shall I rant my pains out?
If only you were here,
I won't be--and never be--get tired
of loving you.

lol, You really should give yourself a lot more credit, its really not that bad. I actually enjoyed it.
I thought it was short, humorous and totally sweet...three of my favourite things rolled into one!

One quicky though, you should consider making this line "I won't be--and never be--get tired
of loving you."

"I won't be--and never would--get tired of loving you"

Just a thought, its your poem anyway.

So if this is one of your worst, then I'd definitely love to read one of your best!

Good job!

Hi! I'm amazed you call this worst of all your poems. It's definitely short but all in all it's sweet. Even when you think it's bad, there are still going to be people to like your work. (like me )
I like the way you've described your friend as a feathered-friend who flies into people's business. If this really is your worst poem then I can only wonder how good you are at poetry. I know I wouldn't be able to compete even with this poem. You're a natural writer and I agree with LindsayG. You should give yourself more credit.
Anyway, goodluck with future posts!

This is my worst poem I've ever done. This is the worst poem I’ve ever done, or- this is my worst poem ever- grammatical errors I forfeit the concrete images for the sake of rhythm? whatever, I just did it with fun. yup, been there, seen that- I donno if poems natural, I don’t think you can force imagery on, but neways

Tired, tired, and tired
when will I won't get tired? When will I not feel tired? This sentence makes better grammatical sense and flows
my feathered-friend never gets tired
of flying, to people's business.
even the bees don't get tired
of hissing, in their beehive's nest. I donno if a beehive is a nest, don think so though.
the milk fish never gets tired I don’t understand the milk fish
of swimming in the sea--
night and day. You could add ‘,day and night.’ That will help retain the- redundancy you’ve been keeping up
Tired, tired, and tired
shall I rant my pains out? pain
If only you were here,
I won't be--and never be--get tired and never get – would be nicer here
of loving you.
I chose the work of yours that had the least reviews, I guess you’re a poet only- it’s much more fun I know. Thanx 4 ur review to Music and disparity- If you’d like to read more, you can check out this file of mine- ‘Music and….’ Similar stuff there. I don’t want to hurt your feelings by the review, but I want to be a good constructive reviewer- so… The imagery wasn’t very missing, but sufficient. The tiredness is what got through, and I really liked that. At first, the redundancy annoyed me but then I got tired too (not as a bad effect though, like I feel you way) and then it was cute- awww.

Excuse me for my rudeness. I don't think there are grammatical errors you were suggesting about my poetry. Instead, you were trying to say was: they seemed awkward that it was better to rephrase the phrases to make the sentence more appealing. As for the milk fish, it's only another term for Chanos-chanos. I didn't use much of imagery words in here.