Letters to the ones I love

Dear Soul-thief,
You try to be what you're not
And you've never gotten caught
It makes me sick to see
How strung out you came to be

Dear Kryptonite,
The world is here, it's here now
Take it quick, before the final bow
This show is almost over, just look up
I got something to tell you, its corrupt
Things are crooked, people are twisted
I sent you a warning, guess you missed it
I missed the start, first part of this show
I heard it was wild, you say it was slow

Dear Milk&Honey,
I'm watching you fight the flames. Those same flames that you brought on. You lit them, you fueled them, you teased them, you raised them tall and towering. You made them so strong, they're stronger than you. You're blinded by something watery & weak. It's power.

It's sick how this world works. This world works like clockwork. There's a beauty in that too.

Dear Untouchable,
you're a hypocrite
and you hate it
so break it.
you can't.
can't shake it
can't break it
or even bend it
there is an end
and it doesn't bend
it won't break
or stand to shake
i tell you because i care
i want you to get somewhere

Dear High&Mighty,
I am here. I am here. I am here.
Before I felt that you were near.
Where have you gone?
Don't tell me I'm wrong,
I know what I feel.
I know what is real.
And something is missing...

I fell in love with this poem! The imagery you had with the "towering flames". The repetition at the end, "I am here, I am here, I am here". I especially love the rhyme scheme. These lines gave me a sense of a rhythm:

"This show is almost over, just look up
I got something to tell you, its corrupt
Things are crooked, people are twisted
I sent you a warning, guess you missed it "

I love it.

Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed it

Heya.

I find this a rather interesting concept. Writing a letter to different "people" with different messages isn't something I see every day, and I liked the names you picked.

However, I found this poem to jump around a fair bit. Mostly in your use of themes. I'm not exactly sure what to follow, because there doesn't seem to be one thing to unify everything all together. You have a sort-of theme for the first three poems (if you count the piece of prose there as a poem, which I do), some of the fourth, but after that it gets a bit disconnected.

Most of this issue comes from how repetitive your fifth poem is, the one that begins with "dear untouchable". You rhyme "it" to itself for most of the poem, and it really killed flow so close to the end. You'd already gotten me out of poetry with the prose poem (dear Milk&Honey), and being tossed back into not-quite poetry jerked me out of this.

Also, your final poem seems rather disconnected. It's strong(ish) on its own, but needs some expanding. If you were to connected it to the rest of the poems presented here, then there would be more to supplement the rather vague ideas presented within.

A final little thing, I'd like to see each "dear [person]" tie into the mini-theme of each poem, then have the whole post be tied together by one unifying theme. You started with that in the first few poems, with some rage against the world in a relatively unique way, but you lose it in poem five. Capture it back, tighten up the theme, and you'll have something really interesting going on here.

PM me if you have any questions or comments.

~Rosey