Why I Want to Join the Peace Corps

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We are Americans.

It has made me angry since the towers fell,
the Americans who have suddenly started seeing
terrorists everywhere,
who look at anyone Middle-Eastern,
with a name like Hammad or Muhammed or Suheir,
and spit in their faces,
slash their tires and break their windows, forgetting
that they are Americans too.

And forgetting also
that this crime was committed not by a nation,
a religion,
or a people,
but a select few, backed by another select few,

forgetting also
that plenty of white Americans have turned terrorist
on their own soil,
which is worse, a betrayal -

Columbine must not have mattered so much.

And of course always forgetting
or never learning
that the United States’ hands are not
half so white as politicians would have them painted,
cold and thoughtless self-interested bastards who hail us
as champions of freedom and democracy,
when really we initiate military coups
to put up a
Capitalist dictatorship we like
and overthrow a
Communist democracy we don’t,
because apparently
market is more important than government
and we care more about money than justice.

Who here can claim they know the story of Congo?

Maybe I’m angry about the wrong things.

I know I should have spent the last ten years
bitterly spitting towards the East,
raising my middle finger in salute of the worst kind,
but instead I have bitterly spit at the Congress
who started a war and didn’t even have the balls to call it that,
except in hackneyed phrases
they knew America would repeat with misty eyes:
War on Terror, a fight for democracy.

This is why I want to join the Peace Corps.
I want to make right, if I can,
for all the wrongs my country has done.

I don’t think we deserved what we got,
but I have been angrier at racists than terrorists.
We may be good, but if that is true, then
we are misguided.

Maybe I’m angry about the wrong things,

but it’s those things I am angry about.




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You definitely have something to say, though this hardly feels like poetry. Maybe a spirited rant of some sort?

In any case, think of the words you wrote. The image you are portraying. We have a message here that is very important to get across, yes, but what did you use to convey that said message? You stated it in your title description. Anger.

We look to all that has occurred and all that is occurring even now. Of the way in which people have done morbid things in the name of being patriotic, and we look to the ideology of the government who only spurns that negative energy until we've hit a fever pitch. In that, people do stupid things. In that, people search for a quick end. Anger is not the answer. It was never the answer to begin with; merely the cause.

So what I think you should do is calm yourself, take a step back, then look at this as a whole. What do you think would be most provoking? What do you think will get your cause across without making you sound bitter nor the flames of anger to return? This is harsh. Its passionate. Its not whats going to make anything right. Merely giving another reason for people to take things too far.

As poetry, its bland. It doesn't carry metaphor nor does it encompass really interesting, original imagery. As a rant, its angry and its passionate.

~Walker
Suppose for a moment that the heart has two heads, that the heart has been chained and dunked in a glass booth filled with river water. The heart is monologuing about hesitation and fulfillment while behind the red brocade the heart is drowning. - R.S




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Hello BlueAfrica,

I agree with Walker on this one, this piece reads more like a rant than a poem. I just have a few things to add to what was said, as well as to clarify a few points.

Directly from poetry.org: "Poetry is an art form in which human language is used for its aesthetic qualities in addition to, or instead of, its notional and semantic content. It consists largely of oral or literary works in which language is used in a manner that is felt by its user and audience to differ from ordinary prose. "

You have here ideas and thoughts written in some sort of form that mirrors poetry - you have a voice, it is clearly angry. The purpose? To express the reasons why you want to join the peace corps (as well as express bitter opinions about the American government, politics, war on terrorism). Everything that you have here can be broken down to either an opinion or concept/idea.

Words like "democracy", "anger", "communist", "nation", "peace", "terrorism", these are all abstractions. We cannot directly experience them. We cannot see, touch, hear, or smell them. Basically, you are telling us your thoughts - let us experience your concepts. For that, you need to create an image.

If you want to write a poem about 9/11, think about what images you see. What sounds do you associate with it? What colors? What do you feel? Both emotionally and physically? Heck, what does "9/11" taste like? But, try to think of an original image, or perspective. Try to think of a new spin on it. If you use "towers", "airplanes", "bombs" - these are all things that have been done before.

If you want to create a poem about a particular feeling - anger. Try to think of images that make you angry. Or if "anger" was a person, what would he/she look like? If "anger" was an object, what would it be? If "anger" was a scene, what would be happening? If "anger" was an action, what would it do?

You have an idea. This is an excellent place to start when you're writing poetry. Now all you need to do is think about how you would express this "idea" into words and images that your readers can directly experience. Brainstorm, brainstorm, brainstorm!

If you need any help or want a few points clarified, let me know through PM!

~ As Always, Audy



If you know what the tip of a shoelace is called, Congratulations, you watched Phineas and Ferb!
— FireEyes