Hang On Tight

5 posts
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Gender Female
Points 1098
Reviews 64
No more lies to be told,
No more souls to be sold,
No more time for the tears,
You must move on from your fears,
Even on this thin little line,
You can't slow down time.

When you're tired of life,
Just hang on tight,
Forget about belonging,
Think about the memories,
You see,
You're always going to be,
Yourself,
No one else.

You're going to miss this,
Evey touch that made you tremble,
Every face that made you laugh
And those eyes that you got lost in,
It's all coming back.

You are who you are,
Nobody can change you,
Except yourself,
You're strong in your heart,
You just have to show it so people notice.

It's not about living,
It's not about dying,
It's about who was in your life,
Did they treat you right?
Were they worth the misery?
Were you truly happy?

The strong will let tears fall,
The weak will hold them back,
There's nothing wrong with death,
You give life your best shot,
You'll make mistakes but everyone does.

A heart can be broken,
But it cannot be fixed,
Unless you save yourself before it is,
Life's like a rollercoaster,
You have to hang on,
On the ride,
There's times when you can throw your hands,
In the sky and say,
"That was one hell of a ride."

You can't put a pause on life,
So enjoy it while you can,
Make mistakes,
Stay up late
And...

Learn about poverty,
Learn about misery,
Take chances,
Look on from the past,
Make mistakes and learn from them,
Fall in love,
Maybe once or twice.

Lord knows if you just hang on tight,
You'll be alright.

There's times when you'll feel broken,
There's time when you'll feel like crying,
Like screaming,
Like leaving,
Like staying up,
Getting in your truck
And never looking back.

Just remember,
Back you'll come because,
You always carry your family with you
And one day,
You'll wish you'd never left.

So smile,
Don't dwell on the past,
Look towards the future
And just know that...

You only live once,
You're only a kid once,
You only die once,
So just enjoy it while you can,
You'll be remembered,
You'll never be forgotten,
So just hang on tight,
It's just life.
I Know I Can Wish Upon A Star But My Past Is My Past, And That Includes Last Night And Yesterday.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1225
Reviews 32
Hello again! :)
Well in the last poem of yours I reviewed I said you could have made it a bit longer. Try not to be mad at me now, but I actually think this one was a bit too long. I guess you have to find a balance. I find that if poems get too long the reader loses interest, unless it's narrative poetry. Maybe that's just me.
In some of your paragraphs I noticed that the techniques changed a bit. For example,

No more lies to be told,
No more souls to be sold,
No more time for the tears,
You must move on from your fears,
Even on this thin little line,
You can't slow down time.


This paragraph has a very clear technique of two lines rhyming, then the next two lines rhyming. But, in the next paragraph,

When you're tired of life,
Just hang on tight,
Forget about belonging,
Think about the memories,
You see,
You're always going to be,
Yourself,
No one else.


The lines here don't rhyme and some are a lot shorter then others. This works in poetry, but in a poem you need to keep a consistent technique throughout. Otherwise it is too jumbled. Just so you know.

I still really loved your poem. I am loving your style of writing and hope to read much more of it.
Follow my blog! :D www.iwrotethesethings.blogspot.com
NerdBurga




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 15440
Reviews 245
This poem was amazing. I can identify with it but I can tell it still has certain parts where it represents your own personal experiences. My only criticism would be that it is right on the edge of being a tad too long. Still, it drew me in and kept my attention while I was reading it. It was great!
“...it's better to feel the ache inside me like demons scratching at my heart than it is to feel numb the way a dead body feels when you touch it."

-Brian James




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Gender None specified
Points 1245
Reviews 142
Wow, just, wow!! This poem was a good follow up to the other poem I read of your, Patterns and Colors!! And let me just say again, you writing is just beautiful!! You make good points, and you stay on topic. No veering to another point for you!! I hope you keep practicing and if you do, I'm sure you'll get published someday!! I loved this part, even though their were other parts that i loved, these two were my favorites!!

No more lies to be told,
No more souls to be sold,


The strong will let tears fall,
The weak will hold them back,


My only nitpick of this poem was, you seemed to rhyme and then not rhyme. Sort of an on and off pattern. Other than that great job!! And keep on keepin' on writing!!




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1147
Reviews 374
I like it, it was inspiring. I feel like it really didn't have anything personal about it though, like it was just a list of the best quotes from a thousand graduation speeches. Connect with us. Tell us a story. I'm not saying I didn't like it though, it was really good. Some kids don't know what "deep" means, they just think it means being melodramatic and mad. You know what deep means. This was deep.
When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.
-Abraham Joshua Heschel



The magic is only in what books say, how they stitched the patches of the universe together into one garment for us.
— Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451